Flying as an unaccompanied minor at age 7

[CrispyClo]

I’m posting on behalf of my sister as she is looking for some external views on the matter.

My niece is 7, birthday was in August. She started a new school in September, which closes for Christmas a week earlier than most state schools. There don’t seem to be a lot of options for childcare during that week as not many schools here close that early so there aren’t any holiday camps.
My sister has booked my niece onto a week long camp abroad for the week. The camp is well reviewed and offers a pick up service for children flying as an unaccompanied minor. My sister initially felt this was a good idea, and booked it.
Now she is having some concerns and is unsure it’s the right choice, mainly as she appreciates 7 is quite young and while the flight isn’t particularly long, they don’t actually have someone sat with them, just cabin crew checking in. She has admitted herself she was fine with it until other people seemed to think it was a reckless parenting choice. I think it will be fine, my sister and I flew as unaccompanied minors often as our dad lived abroad, we were a bit older (maybe 10 the first time) but managed it fine.

AIBU to think my niece will be fine? She’s looking forward to the camp and doesn’t seem phased by the thought of it.

Jesus 😳

This is so cruel! That poor child. Why the fuck do some people bother having children?!!! Just get a hamster ffs

I'm a pretty relaxed parent too but there would be no way I'd have even contemplated this at that age for my own children when they were young. Your neice may be very, very mature but there are a number of foreseeable issues that could go wrong, and at 7 my two would not have had the ability to advocate for themselves if so. Perhaps at 12+ maybe, but both of mine would have hated the idea of being sent away for a week anyway so I still wouldn't. If she is exceptionally mature, articulate, confident and wants to do it then I suppose perhaps (although I still thing it's a bad idea).

I wouldn't be comfortable with mine alone on the plane at that age, even if a family member was meeting them on the other end- let alone a stranger.
And I think 7 is much too young for a week long camp with people that they know well, let alone complete strangers that the parents won't even meet or see the facility first.
Sounds like a very dangerous scenario and there's nothing that could motivate me to risk my child's safety like that.

I'm sure others have mentioned this, but my take is what if something fucks up? Would a 7 year old recognise that something has gone wrong? Too many red flags could be missed that a slightly older child might pick up on and this isn't important enough to take risks with.

I'm child free and I'm full of anxiety about this .

Definitely not. And I’m on the laidback side of the parenting scale.

I see it as a problem myself. Unaccompanied minors are a huge problem.

Also there will be a solution to this if your sister or her co-parent really cannot take time off work. It happened to me frequently, and sometimes it was different things on different days but usually involved finding a local childminder through word of mouth.

The camp is the issue, I would not put my 7 year old daughter or son in this situation without having met people from there and known them face to face. It's a brochure and hopefully all will be well. But even if it is, at the best case scenario the most robust of 7 years old WILL feel homesick EVEN amongst a group of well meaning people. 7 years old!! But they are amongst strangers and no easy way home!

I think you are focusing on your own experiences of solo travel and they are not really comparable.

Btw I do have a DC who enjoys staying away through his hobby having been built up with trusted individuals through group and regulated contact.j

I’m not sure how I feel about this. I do think some posters are being a tad harsh, I don’t think there is anything wrong with flying as an unaccompanied, camps at age 7 or international camps, however I don’t think the combination works right now.

My own DD is now 19, she did all of these things at some point.
She is also an August birthday, her first ever residential camp was in the UK at the end of year 3, 4 nights, 20 minutes drive away. She then did a second one that same summer that was in Cornwall so a much longer drive but was very excited and I felt more confident it not being her first time sleeping away.
Her first intentional camp was in the February of Year 5 but I flew out with her as the camp was Saturday to Saturday, I stayed in a hotel on the Saturday night incase she didn’t like it and wanted to come home.
Her first unaccompanied minor flight was the following February to the same camp. I felt more comfortable as she knew the people running it, where she was going, and at 10, she had a phone, had been to many residential camps and was better able to advocate for herself.
By Y7 she did multiple international camps in one school year. One in the February, one in April and then 4 weeks worth in the summer holidays and she continued this until she started Y11. Sometimes I’d fly her out, if it was a camp we weren’t yet familiar with, other times she would go unaccompanied.
All that’s to say I do think 7 is too young for this combination of all 3. It’s not so much about the individual safety risks as I actually think individually they are probably all fine. But the combination of risks, plus the emotional wellbeing of your niece is paramount. Each aspect should be tried on its own before combining it all I think.

I live in the US and overnight camps are very common. However, 7 is pretty young even for those and most are 3-4 days, getting longer from age 8 or 9. When I was a counselor, some 8yos were totally fine, some were homesick but mostly fine. Even a year older and homesickness was a lot less common. I think it really depends on the kid 🤷‍♀️

I was that child being shipped off to camp every summer since I was 6. It was very normal in my Eastern European home country. People had to work, our summer holidays were 3 months long and parents didn't know what to do with their kids so camps were the answer. It was a middle class thing, not a rich people thing.

I will not be doing it to my child.

I have some good memories, but mostly not very good ones about feeling alone and insecure and missing home.

Your sister is a shit parent for thinking this is ok and I judge any parent who does this.

Don't have kids if you don't want them FFS.

Your sister is nuts.

Oh and another thing to consider is has your niece ever been away from home for that length of time?
DD did sleepovers with aunts/uncles/grandparents from about 6 months old. Weekends with them from a year and every December from 3 her uncle would take her skiing for a week before Christmas, so she was very familiar and comfortable with being away from home for 6/7 nights before we ever tried camps.
Also has she done day camps?

There are so many things you need to try first before an international camp, flying as an unaccompanied minor.

7 is probably too young, 9 I think is probably more reasonable but even then I’m not sure unaccompanied minor to a camp she hasn’t been to is a good idea until teen years. Unaccompanied minor to a familiar camp or international camp with a parent flying out and back then flying back out to get them is probably fine at 9.

I think you’ve been damaged by your own experiences to be honest. It’s weird that you and your sister are even thinking of this but if you were treated this way yourselves it will be a hard thing to unpick that your parents did not do right by you. To everyone else it reads as cold and neglectful. I know this may seem hard to hear. The fact you’re saying boarding schools exist for seven year olds - as though that’s justification when actually to most people sending a seven year old to boarding school is barbaric - to me shows how deep this all runs for you,

I know someone who went abroad regularly as an unaccompanied minor, ie on planes without a loved one. It has messed her up, but it took therapy for her to realise it.

I feel desperately sad for your niece, Seven is so small and your sister should rethink entirely.

The whole thing is awful - the camp they’ve never even seen in person, the flight on her own, absolutely awful. Just no.

I think that depending on the child I could be ok with the flight if they were being met by a family member the knew well at the other side but the camp itself sounds too much at 7. I am not against the idea of residential camps but not at the age in a different country

I grew up in these circles, I flew from a young age as an unaccompanied minor. The airline had a policy that minors had to be seated next to a child or a woman. When I was 10 the couple next to me decided to swap seats so I was next to a man, they then made out, hands down each others pants for almost the entire flight. Then the guy put his seat back too fast, spilling the drink of the man behind. Man behind leapt up, they got in to a blazing argument, cabin crew had to defuse the situation. I was totally safe, totally untouched. And very worried and scared by the whole thing.

I know multiple people who boarded from age 7. They all carry trauma, and have fundamental issues with sustaining relationships. Some of them don’t recognise this, and think their relationships with their own children are “normal”.

I wouldn’t have any particular worries about the child being safe. These programmes are very established, with good protocols. But adding together the flight and the camp, the child will, sooner or later, end up in a situation she isn’t emotionally ready for. Could be something like I describe, could be bad turbulence, could be getting confused in a new location and having a toilet accident, could be home sickness. Children deserve to be loved and cared for by their loved ones, not just to be safe.

I went to camp as a child. I was nine, it was about half an hour away from my house, and my best friend and I were signed up together to be in the same unit with the same counselors. I was excited to go when I left, but after maybe two nights, I was incredibly homesick and so anxious that I’d throw up stomach acid every morning before breakfast.

As it happens, I have a seven-year-old daughter. A couple hours ago, we read picture books before my husband put her to bed and did her whole “backrub, song, kiss” ritual she insists she needs to fall asleep. I can’t imagine sending her to stay with strangers for an entire week.

Children do it from 5 in NZ they have to use air band which checks tracks them the trip and sends text to the adults involved with the child. You have to wait in the airport until the plane departs. Children travel to grand parents and there other parents house. They aren't allowed checked baggage and a small bag for the flight.

Poor kid..this is definitely a case of just because you can doesnt mean you should.

From 7 . My dc asked to go alone at that age. I stayed in a b & b nearby and he had a great time.

Very naive of you to blindly trust any adult with your child.

Just because several parents are happy to ship their young children off doesn’t make it ok, or “pearl clutching”. Op asked for opinions.

I took a 8 hour train trip as an unaccompanied minor at that age. I had my sister but she wasn’t much older than me.

I was fine. It was the 80’s. I remember a man showed me tricks with his cigarette (it was the 80’s - you were allowed to smoke everywhere).

I would never ever let my child travel alone at that age. I have a friend who (as a teen) was assaulted by the man sitting next to her on a plane. It was utterly disgusting. He got away with it because she didn’t press charges (and without going into details I understood why).

Your friend needs to buy another ticket and travel with her child.