To think that people look down on women who work as nannies?

[ImSeRa]

Am I being unreasonable to think that being someone's nanny automatically makes you seen as 'the help' and therefore, you will always be seen as lower class?

I have taken 18 months to raise my DS because I didn't feel comfortable sending him to nursery. With my parents' offer of childcare, I will be able to work 3 days a week.

Going back to my previous role of Accounts Admin, I will only be able to earn £35k pro rata but as a Nanny, I will be able to earn £60k pro rata. In other words, 3 days of Nannying will pay me the same as 5 days of Accounts Admin and, with the exception of looking after babies, it has the potential to be much easier in my opinion (I have done both jobs).

Is it better to have more money and to work less or to have a socially respectable position as a finance professional?

The only disadvantage to being a Nanny is that you can feel very lonely and vulnerable if you have a bad boss, whereas you feel protected and a sense of solidarity in an office and there is always someone to give you a good reference if something goes wrong. As a Nanny, if you come across a control-freak, unpleasant parent/employer, they will refuse to give you a reference and prevent you from working for someone else.

I disagree too. My ex nanny went on to become an NHS professional.

I don't look down on anyone who earns their own living.
You definitely seem super sensitive though

I would just focus on what is right for your child. And also what is workable practically. If your mum is ill it is likely to impact a family much more if you need a day off than a company. And can you do the office job from home? Now mine are older being able to work from home gives me so much flexibility around their needs.

Finally, don't forget to factor in pension contributions and sick pay /job security. The £60k a year council job you sniffed at would come with a 25% employer pension contribution, Flexi hours, hybrid working and probably 6 months full sick pay...

I wouldn't worry what people think of you, that's a daft basis for picking a job

I think in an ideal world, I would find a lovely family with lovely children and I'd stay with them for at least 5 years and then find another family and be paid well in a relatively calm domestic environment. But the reality can be different - one of my previous employers was a really scary and super controlling woman who made the job unbearable. Another family was absolutely perfect for me but they could only afford me for 28 hours a week and I lived too far from them. Another family were great but their child had autism and was a toddler - a difficult and lonely combination because he was non-verbal and kind of impulsive. With another family, I was best friends with the mum but found the little girl a bit difficult. Nothing ever works out perfectly.
With an office job in Acounts, I loved being part of a team of kind people who had each others' backs but there was a culture of eating at your desk and staying until 7pm and constantly typing away at the keyboard. Accounts is nothing but constant work and you have to work very fast and try not to make any mistakes and the salary is kind of low for the amount of work you do.

My main goal in life is to earn the highest possible salary I can so that I can provide a good life for my DS 2.5. At the same time, I want him to be proud of me and not be ashamed, so I'm genuinely confused. Maybe it is my sister's arrogant and ignorant attitude towards Nannying as a career that is interfering with my ability to think clearly about what is best for me and DS.

No, it's actually my sister who looks down on my plan of being a nanny again. She's the one with the prestigious council job earning £60k. She feels like she has more guts/chutzpah than me and is doing better, despite not being as academically able.

I am definitely feeling sensitive because of my sister's comments. I don't know why I care so much.

Who are all these people with nannies?! I've never met a nanny. I've never met anyone who's had a nanny. I must move in different circles 🤣

The only nanny I ever had was married to my grandad! 🤣

First post nails it as per!!

With all due respect OP, I’d more in awe of a nanny because I couldn’t think of a worse job than looking after other folks kids so I admire their patience.

A chartered accountant is a professional career and ‘respected’ as such but no offence, an admin assistant isn’t considered a professional career. Anyone that would give two shits what job someone does isn’t the kind of person I would care about their opinion anyway

You are being very short sighted considering going back to being a nanny…consider becoming a childminder instead…it’s now SO well paid, and you can earn £70k a year.

I think this just goes to show that everyone has different conceptions of which jobs they consider to be ‘prestigious’, and in the end, it matters not one jot. I would never have thought of council jobs as especially prestigious - don’t they have a reputation for being pencil pushers?

@Ilovemychocolate I'm intrigued, I thought childminders earned £9 an hour and looked after several children in their own homes? I even read an article that said 15 and 30 hours funding had made it hard to work as a childminder.

I think your value is determined by the money you earn, not the job title, and you're getting paid really well for it. People don't look down on nannies as much as they used to; they mostly look with envy at people who have work/life balance. The biggest issue you brought up is that feeling of isolation and vulnerability with a bad employer. I wish there was a better resource for vetting families.

Nannie’s where I live, in Central SW, are definitely not looked down on! They earn a lot, they know
everything that goes on in the family, they do a skilled job!

I think it’s a you issue…..I don’t look down on anyone for any job, we need all different types of jobs for a society to function.

Before I get berated for being ‘woke’ I most certainly am not. While I have a professional background, I don’t work (husband’s wealth)
and all people are treated the same, from gardeners, drivers, cleaners etc! I don’t come from this kind of background and have worked as a cleaner, in retail, bars, market stands (during uni). From personal observations ‘new’ rich are worse to the staff etc and are much more judgmental ..it’s very unpleasant.

Nannie’s in SW London (Westminster, Chelsea, Belgravia, Kensington) will be on circa 70/80 k.

If they are doing one week on/ one off it will be a lot more than that!

Exactly and I’ve been mothering since I was 16, big age gap between my kids, NEVER met a nanny. Not at a park, not on the school run, not at the soft play.

I thought Nannys were something from the Victorian era makes me think of nanny mcphee

but as a Nanny, I will be able to earn £60k

What experience do you have as a nanny?

The nanny I had was a queen amongst women. I genuinely love and admire her. She was doing a job I couldn’t and she was a massive influence on my kids’ lives. They love her as much as I do. No looking down here.

I had a live in nanny for ten years. As a lone parent is was one of mutual respect and it was a very symbiotic situation. IME no, people don’t look down on them, you just need to make sure you have a good contract in place.

I always find it odd when people describe nannies/cleaners/gardeners as "the help". In the present day they are normally self employed and offering a service that you have to pay for. Yes you can employ a Nanny but unless you are the owner of a business you are likely employed by someone else too. You are not doing the Nanny a favour. My husband is a Carpenter and earns well for the years of experience, knowledge and skill he has but occasionally still gets spoken to like he's the poor stable boy that should be grateful for the work.

OP, I would look down on you (and especially your employer, tbh) FAR more for not paying your taxes than for whichever of your job options you happened to end up doing.

We had a part time nanny when dd was little. She was absolutely bloody wonderful and we regarded her as one of the family rather than "the help".

We are still in touch with her almost two decades after she stopped working for us, and I regard her as a very dear friend.

With respect, OP, I think you need to stop worrying about what your dsis does or doesn't think about your life choices, and just start doing what you want. You're a grown up now, and you don't have to live up to someone else's idea about what your life should look like.

That’s hilarious!
As if anyone would work for £9 an hour!
My four kids are all on the funding, so it’s £11.19 per hour x 4, and I work 4 days a week 😄

well, let me tell you something
I was a nanny etc and my then boyfriend was saying to his friends I am just aupair. They laughed at him because he is just a teacher. So literally where is the big difference? Also his friends, all lawyers and business men told him not to talk like that about my occupation

Nannies where I live strut around with an air of superiority looking down on mother's that have less than perfect well behaved toddlers/babies, while patronisingly giving out their "expert" advice on how to combat perfectly normal 2 year old behaviour. They're the ones that look down on people not the other way around.

They were probably tired of their job and wanted to branch out into coaching parents and doing a rubbish job, ignore them.

Yep, there’s a reason he’s your ex now 😀

I find that people who are insecure about their own position in life judge nannies.
I was a nanny for an upper middle class family and they were really good to me. I also interviewed with an upper class family and they were very gracious and humble.

But a middle class family who only needed me for 2 hours after school were very a bit odd. They felt guilty to be employing me, at times were wondering why someone as educated as me was doing a job like that- they kept talking about their own career- implying that they had worked hard to get there. Obviously, none of it was said out loud but I was able to read between the lines.

I also had a date with a guy who was a solicitor and he made patronising comments- nannies earn as much as some lawyers.