Looking for a bit of advice

[Lucy2586]

Hi all, very long story will not go into all the details but it’s come out that my child’s on off best friend has been bullying her for a couple of years, one incident i just found out about she punched her in the stomach last year and said her mother said she was allowed to do that.

The teacher in last year of primary noticed a toxic dynamic and made sure they were not in the same form class in high school but it turns out she is in a few of her classes. Theu gravitated back together. My DD is awaiting assessment she has huge sensory issues and has to go to student support for lunch break etc.

So 2 weeks ago they walked home from school together and popped to the park but this friend and another girl ran and his from DD. I popped round to their house and really calmly explained that my DD is very sensitive and really upset. I even had my phone recording so j couldn’t be accused of being threatening or anything because this woman is a bit of an odd one.

However, she got really defensive and in the end shouted take accountability so I shouted back at her. Since then other things have happened but I haven’t spoke to said women but someone said she has called the police on me.

i am just a bit concerned because it seems people get arrested for anything at the moment. Would I know as it’s almost 2 weeks ago if police were going to come? I am such a worrier and I have known this woman for 10 years thought we could have a civilised conversation.

You would know by now if the police were going to come round. I would just leave it and advise your daughter not to engage.

My DD will not engage my ex has been to the school and made sure that teachers are aware and they are kept apart as much as possible in class etc.

As difficult as it is, this just sounds like typical teen/ pre teen friendship dynamics. All you can do is encourage your daughter to invest some time in other friendships. I think once you turn up at another parent's front door filming them it's never going to result in a friendly discussion regardless of how long you've know them.

I wasn’t filming i was recording in my pocket so to cover myself. I would have called her but we stopped socialising about 3 years ago and no longer had her number. She was always at the school kicking off at the slightest thing so I distanced myself

You were unreasonable to go to their house to speak to the mother. You need to tell your daughter to stay away from the other child and report any nasty behaviour to the school. Never approach the other parents!

I just don't think turning up at a parent's door especially if you know she's known to 'kick off' is never going to result in a calm conversation with the outcome you were hoping for. I can't see what ground she'd have to make a police complaint. If my daughter came home and told me her friend ran away and hid from her at the park my advice would be don't hang out with her if it doesn't make you feel good.

pWhat would you do if this child was trying convince your daughter to end her life on her birthday which is next month. Would you be quite so keen to take action? Someone sent the screenshots to school I had to take her straight to the emergency room because she was starting to agree. She is autistic dont tell me not to go to the mother’s house. I got a phone call from the school to take my dd to the hospital immediately. It all came out to the therapist that this is child is self harming and trying to convince my dd to do it this child wants to run. Away from home bevause he 14 year old brother has been expelled for touching a younger child in the park. I was going to the house wild horses wouldn’t stop me so thanks for concern but no thanks

I did say there was so much more but this came to light after I went to her door so I am very glad I did. My dd was morose, hiding away now is back to her happy go lucky self

Oh my gosh it pisses me off so much. Imagine your child school calling telling you to take your child straight to emergency room because she is agreeing to end her life on the 18th dec her birthday. Imagine the absolute devastation so dont tell me wha I should and shouldn’t do. She is autistic

Do what i did for my brother when this happened to him. Teach her how to fight and take her to kickboxing classes.

I have never been so heartbroken and devastated I cannot believe that another 11 year old could do this. It’s all there in black and white another parent saw it in the chat and sent to the school. I didn’t eat for 4 days

I will go to her door again if I have to and I won’t be so fucking civil next time

I told her she my full permission to punch anyone straight in the Face If they try this again. I would never teach my child to hurt anyone but In this instance yeah it’s perfectly acceptable

You need to calm down as you are sounding quite deranged. You are worried about the police getting involved and then threatening to go round to her door again.

Deranged this site is bullshit

That's quite a lot more detail and I'm sorry this is happening your daughter. I have 2 daughters and I know how difficult it can be to navigate when friendships sour. I just don't think you are going to get the resolution you are looking for by going to this particular parent. Go through the school, ask how they can support your daughter, what resources can they put you in touch with?. You sound tenacious, use that where it can really help your daughter. Confronting this other mum will just feel like hitting a brick wall.

I take it back. You are totally calm and eloquent 🤣🤣🤣

Thank you I know. my dd has been withdrawn for a while and nobody knew why. When this happened the flood gates opened and she told us everything. Shes been friends with this child since
she was 2 there was codependency and my child struggled to break away but since everyone has got involved its
like a giant weight off her and she’s so happy again i am devastated i didn’t know she was suffering for over 2 years i put it down
to Her period.

Hahaha sorry no
i am not
calm im raging but better out than
in eh. And better i am not at her door! Rant and stuff

I am so angry that’s why I came here to rant and rave I probably do sound like a lunatic but just let me explode please

What I did was go to the police, who attended the child’s home and gave her and the parents a good talking to with a clear warning about what might happen if the threatening behaviour continued. School put in place an avoidance protocol for both children.

You said all they did was run and hide so you went round her mums house to complain, then you completely changed the story and started attacking everyone who offered you advice. What are you actually here for?

When my autistic son was being bullied by an utter shit at school, we took all of our evidence to the police and reported saying we felt he was being targeted because of his disability. Police took it very seriously and said they would investigate and recorded it as a hate crime.
Wont go into the details but the best thing we did was change his school before the run up to GCSEs started. Bully was eventually permanently excluded for the same behaviour against new targets.