AIBU for refusing to work with someone involved in an influencer pyramid scheme?

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Someone I know, and have worked with on and off over the years, has always seemed sensible and capable. They’ve successfully run a business before, and I’ve always respected them. Recently, they approached me to help with some work for a new “business” venture.
But when I dig deeper, I discover it’s not a real business at all, it’s a mentorship-style pyramid scheme they’d been recruited into.

I’m mortified for them and really disappointed. I thought they knew better and wouldn’t fall for something like this. It’s one of those “pay me to mentor you on how to get others to pay you to mentor them” setups, where people spend huge amounts of time building an exaggerated online persona to convince others to buy into the same false dream. It’s all “fake it till you make it,” and they’re teaching others to do the same.

I refused to take on the work because it just felt wrong. I hate social media and what it’s done (and continues to do) to humans. But now I’m questioning myself, am I being unreasonable for thinking they’re selling out for money and social media validation? Should I say something and explain why I find the whole thing so disheartening, or is it better to stay quiet and step back?

I hate this kind of thing… but who am I to judge? I guess I’m just really disappointed. I just don’t understand how people don’t immediately see through all these ‘influencer’ schemes. How is this even still a thing?

I'd probably just be straight with them, and say 'look, it seems just like a pyramid scheme to me, I don't want to get involved, I'm quite surprised that you are, given your knowledge and expertise in the time I've known you, and I think you should get yourself out of it, even though you've already invested time and money in it'.
Honesty is seldom the wrong approach.

Thanks for your response. It’s tricky, I don’t want to burn any bridges, but I do want to express how I feel in the hope they’ll reconsider. I think you’re right about being straight with them. I’ll have to do it in a way that won’t cause offence. I don’t want to seem judgy… but I guess I am judging. But then, don’t we all.

I think you have done the right thing, but be prepared to lose your friendship / relationship over it.

I did some personal future planning work with a friend / client a few years ago.

She then came back to me and asked me to undertake a more specific project to help her improve her work performance.

By that stage I realised that part of her work (she had a portfolio career) was involved with a really dodgy pyramid scheme. She was being criticised by her upstream mentor / manager for not achieving a sufficiently high level of downstream recruits and or sales.

I tried to gently tell her she was involved with a pyramid scheme and that there was nothing she was personally doing wrong. I also said there was nothing I could do to help her achieve the targets she was being set and that morally it would feel wrong for me to take money from her in that scenario. I was doing everything I could to help her understand that she had fabulous skills but that her failure to achieve her targets was about the scheme, not her.

She reacted with real fury. Told me that her upstream managers had warned her about people like me. Said I was jealous of her success etc.etc.

I met someone recently who knew her and knew she had done the original piece of work with me. I asked how she was and was told that 5 years down the line she was still plugging away trying to recruit downstream, had lost numerous friends because of it and had never made a penny out of this pyramid.

I think that all pyramid schemes are pretty awful. They hook people with lies and leave them insecure and doubting their abilities while a very few people at the head of the pyramid make a fortune.

This is exactly it. It’s really sad to witness this happening. I know someone who got involved in a similar scheme a few years ago. In real life, they seem to be struggling to pay their bills, but online they portray a completely different picture. When you talk to them, they stick to the script about how well things are going, but you can tell it’s not true. It’s heartbreaking because they’ve become so deeply invested that it feels like they can’t find a way out.

It’s interesting you heard about this person later, that the scheme isn’t working for them. And wow, “her upstream managers had warned her about people like you” that really shows how toxic these setups can be.

You’re absolutely right, these schemes hook people in and then leave them doubting their own abilities and feeling insecure.

Good gracious , cone and join us on the MLM page that’s been going forever!! Honestly, these things are like cults

Ha, I had to look up what “MLM” means on Mumsnet. I just searched, and wow, I see what you mean. That’s why I’m so surprised about the person I’m talking about. He’s a professional man with a solid business background, sensible, and not someone who seems vulnerable. I’m honestly shocked he’s fallen for it.