Is it strange that I’ve never cooked a Christmas dinner at 36?

[Crouchingdragonhiddentiger]

When I lived at home my mum cooked it, now I’ve been living in my own house for 10 years with my 7 year old DS and my partner, we go to his parents or mine on alternate Christmases.
We also have a very small house so in no way big enough to host for family & friends.

Just wondering if I’m alone in this, because my Christmas memories were of my mum out doing the Christmas dinner from morning until we ate.

No. I'm 60 and I've never cooked a Christmas (or any roast) dinner, because it's not something I want to eat. On the few occasions we've had guests at Christmas, we've gone to a hotel - so the guests could have Xmas dinner, and we could have fish or something.

No, I’m 44 and haven’t. I’ve helped out but either had it at home or then with DH since I met him. My dad is very a “the man of the house does the roast” sort of guy and DH enjoys it so I’ll help if he needs it but other than he’s happy pottering about in the kitchen doing it.

The first Christmas dinner I cooked was when I was 45 and husband had had major surgery. Before that we went to my parents or bother's every year. It was great having Christmas at home, so we've done it every year since.

We'll be having chicken with fresh asparagus, cherry tomatoes , bacon and fresh basil - no roasting. It's in the middle of our summer! My husband doesn't like turkey.

I was 39 (nearly 40), when I cooked my first Christmas dinner. In fact it was also the first time I'd ever cooked a chicken.

Prior tho this I'd been a single mum and my DS and I always went to my parents.

I'd got married in the November, when I was 39, and we decided to eat alone, after visiting my parents. My DS decided to stay at my parents (he was 18).

@Goinggreymammy some people are really territorial about their prep and cooking, so wouldn't allow help. I've been able to do a roast from around age 9, that wasn't uncommon were I grew up, in the 70's, especially when the factories/admin started offering overtime on a Sunday. I doubt I'll cook a roast again, because now we eat out. My middle DD can do a roast, but she's never had to do a Christmas dinner. If she found herself at home, she'd probably do tomahawk steaks and special sides.

It's a Roast - nothing fancy! Some weird pop up came up re a famous frozen food Supermarket who were marketing Christmas Dinner for Four people. I wouldn't ever consider trying to cram enormous box (no euphemism) into normal family sized freezer however, if you just simply unpacked and stored it should be fine. It was a Turkey (not whole Bird) roast and seemed to have loads of sides including stuffing and Gravy. It did seem very good value at £25. I haven't tried but perhaps a good avenue if you're that worried?
If you have to cater for loads more, I would ask any adults to provide food / sides / Pudding and make kids involved with setting table and clearing up. Unfortunately, it's usually the female of the species that tends to end up sweating in the kitchen so assign others to provide nibbles, ice, serve and mix Drinks and clean up as they go.

I think it’s a sign of privilege that you have 2 sets of parents to go to.

You should speak to them and see if they want a break.

I’ve been cooking Xmas dinner since I turned 30 & had a decent house.

I have never either and I'm 38 same we go to my parents or in-laws.
Though im in Australia so not much cooking gets done all cold meats and salads and seafood no actual cooking on Christmas it's all precooked by parents or inlaws or
brought cold.
Occasionally I'll bring a dessert and cook that but I'm not a good cook at all so usually buy one.

I'm 60 and never cooked one. I've been a veggie for over 40 years though... 🤣

I do think if parents are doing the cooking there should come a point when the younger ones cook … It could all be done at the bigger family home (for example, a joint effort by siblings), but it’s nice to take care of your parents and spoil them on Christmas Day, at least occasionally.

I think you're very lucky to have always been catered for tbh.

Only on mumsnet the internet can I find the rarest breed of folk that I can absolutely feel comfortable with or make me want to exit the earth.
That's to say, I love that I'm not the only 54 year old that has never cooked a Christmas dinner in my life 🥹. I don't feel so weirdly guilty now, so thank you all 🙏.

49 and never made a Christmas dinner. I do everything else though, all the shopping, wrapping, decorating etc.

Many folk do all that plus make dinner.

Completely agree!
This must by why so many people on here say 'oh its just a simple roast!'. They have no idea, especially if they just show up and eat it.
I usually feed 8+ people from a very bog standard kitchen with a very average sized oven. From the very average sized oven comes a large turkey, large gammon, home made roast potatoes, at least three different veg (usually including honey roasted carrots/parsnips) stuffing/yorkshire puds and two starters (some people don't like the 'main' starter) and dessert. I don't know about the majority of mumsnetters but I am certainly not doing that on a weekly basis!
My grandmother was the Christmas day cook in our house and from being very small I was expected to help (family business ran 24/7 365 days a year so my parents didn't have time for cooking an elaborate meal) so by my teen years I could confidently cook the meal myself if I had too. One of my last and fondest memories of my grandmother is of her sitting in her little chair giving her 'instructions' whilst I made the dinner from her kitchen, she would have been 82 at the time and she loved 'making' dinner for the whole family.
I think the question I would ask of the thirty-somethings that happily go to their parents every year for the 'simple roast' is could you cook it if you had to? If mum/dad (whoever normally cooks) was ill/incapacitated for some reason could you provide a meal of the same standard? Are you aware how much a Christmas dinner can cost to host? (Our turkey comes from the butcher and costs approx £90 then everything else on top of that). There isn't anything inherently wrong with not cooking /hosting the meal but I think if you are happy to benefit from other people's hospitality you should at least be able to be useful in the kitchen or making a contribution in some way.

I'm 48 and I've never cooked one either, I can't imagine I ever will tbh. I realised last week I've also never mown the lawn 🤷‍♀️

Someone should tell my parents and in laws that, they just turn up every and get hosted! We pay for everything, I get their drinks and wait on them, DH cooks and serves while I entertain everyone, including my own three young children, I clean up afterwards. It’s been the same for 12 years.
Just because I have never personally cooked a Christmas dinner, doesn’t mean I have no idea about the cost and effort of hosting on Christmas Day. We’d love someone else to offer to host one year.

So clearly you are contributing on the day 🤷‍♀️ I covered my thoughts on that in the last few sentences of my posy.

I was just having a conversation with you, apologies I thought that was what forums were for.

It always makes me amazed how so many women say their husband never cooks day to day yet manages to cook the most important meal of the year bizarre! But to answer question yes I have cooked a few especially since my mum died so hosting again this year .

I cooked my first one at about 36. Up to then my mum, then my sister, then my MIL had cooked. I’d been married about 4 years when MIL said she’d had enough of cooking for everyone so DH and I took over. After about 4 Christmases I’d had enough and for the last decade or so DH has cooked it and I sous chef. It’s not that it’s hard it’s just that it’s usually 12 to 14 people and all his side of the family!

Sorry, I don't think I read your post in the tone it was intended!

It always makes me amazed how so many women say their husband never cooks day to day yet manages to cook the most important meal of the year bizarre!

Lots of men cook daily. I doubt there are any who only cook on Xmas Day.

I’m 61 and have never cooked one. My husband always does it.