AIBU to stop buying for friend’s dc?

[Mobley52]

My friend and I have 2 dc each. Most of them are teens now and when the children were little we did lots together and bought each others dc presents/cards etc for birthdays.

For the last 5 years or so my friend has forgotten my dc’s birthday but I’ve still bought for hers. She’s occasionally remembered months later and sent something in the post but most years has forgotten completely.

I think she may have undiagnosed ADHD so I don’t mind too much.

AIBU to stop gifting to her dc on birthdays? I don’t see them much now they are all older and I tend to see my friend separately from the dc.

Sure, no biggie
Send a card though otherwise looks very barbed

I think yabu to wonder about this tbh. I would have stopped years ago (as she clearly did)

I'd say she was sending you a clear message by not gifting your kids that she was fine with you not buying for hers. Just stop. They'll be fine without a present.

I said YABU, because she's sending a clear message that she is stopping the gifts for the children, regardless of her ADHD.

I wouldn’t blame this on her ADHD. I think it’s very reasonable to phase this out as the kids grow up.

I have said to my friend we should stop when our kids get to the end of primary school.
I think it gets harder as children get older, this year the struggle was real thinking of what my son wanted from us, so when my friend was asking I really didn't know what to suggest so she ended up just getting him a voucher.

It sounds like your friend has also decided to stop, but maybe should have said. But it is quite hard to be direct and say let's not do presents any more in case the other person thinks you are being tight.

Absolutely stop. Just send a cheerful message so she knows it’s not meant unkindly. You should probably have stopped ages ago. I have one friend who won’t get the message and still brings gifts which is just awkward and unnecessary.