Was I being unreasonable to say this to MIL

[Tina5]

Lately MIL is asking DH all the time if DD has broken up with her BF (not so much to me though) we keep telling her no but every time we go round or speak on phone she will again ask if DD has broken up with BF. I said to MIL on phone today why do you keep asking cos it’s getting irritating to us that you keep asking the same question all the time about DD she then got offended and said to me I don’t like what you just said I haven’t said it a few times I said yes you have. WIBU to say this to her?

How old is she? When DM was around and living with dementia, one of her pre-occupations was constantly asking if literally everyone in the family had split up. The strange thing was that fairly unusually none of the adults in our family have been divorced, and the ‘young adults’ were all in long term relationships (with the first partner that grandma would have known about) so incredibly boring with no scandal at all in reality, but she was constantly asking / worried about all sorts of shenanigans!

No, the granddaughter needs a surprise pregnancy of twins and then the OP needs to look at her phone and find messages from another woman before making a week’s worth of meals from one chicken and then there needs to be some disability bashing.

Does nan have some information on him?

in a previous time a friend kept asking if a friend was still seeing her partner. Turns out she had seen him cheating!

No but you could have just asked why she keeps asking rather than say she’s irritating. That’s a bit rude and unnecessary even if true.

It’s the sort of repeat question my DM asks and she is in the throes of dementia, so my response might be MN bingo but also based in reality

Ask her if she seems to think she knows something you don't. Or tell her if she wants to know why not put that question to your daughter

My first reaction would not be irritation, it’s be more along the lines of why does she keep asking the same thing? Is it the start of a more serious medical condition? I had family members do this before they were diagnosed with early dementia so perhaps respond with worry instead of irritation and try to find out why she keeps asking instead of telling her she’s annoying?

Ah but you forgot the bit where she also needs to ask how many thousands of pounds disposable income is too much……🤣

If she’s already offended just lay it out that she’s asking questions that are none of her business.

Id be more concerned that eh was maybe showing signs or dementia if she's repeating herself alot and not having a memory of asking it

Is it possible she's forgetting the answer/it's a sign of memory issues. Or is it more that she's judgey and has judged the bf, and is more hoping they break up?
I personally would only say something if it's 100% the latter, my dm has no dementia but does often need telling something a few times, she just forgets a bit, it's not malicious even if it's a bit annoying.
I'd be kind, if you all normally get along well, there must either be something going on with her view on the boyfriend (would your dd confide in grandma or let something slip you don't yet know?) Or theres something going on with her memory. If you don't, and she's got form, then it's up to you really as to whether you let her/the question wind you up.

Maybe MIL is going to try her luck with the boyfriend once he's an ex? If she asks you again, I'd ask her if that's her intention. Bet that stops her asking!