To ask if you’d be happy with these gifts for your child’s birthday?

[presentconundrum]

Child is under 5, and in my family.

I’ve got:

a peppa pig art set - this is the main present, it’s a decent size.

Four colouring books, a sticker book and some crayons

a large puzzle

a little “pet care” toy - just a little dog and some accessories

all are within the appropriate age range. Is this enough??? Looking at it now it seems quite small and I might need to raid their Christmas presents to boost it.

total cost is probably about £45

thats a lovely present and as a parent I would appreciate that sort of gift as it's something for them to sit and 'do' quietly which would be appreciated after the craziness of all the birthday present tat they will probably receive!

So you didn't return them to the shop, or give them to the poor, as you suggested OP should do? 🙄

No item individually will be overwhelming. It’s the total volume and remember you’re only one person giving a gift. There will also be lots of more people giving gifts.

Are you counting individual crayons in that 9 or something?

It's one medium sized art set and a few small presents accompanying it. Hardly excessive. OP isn't planning on wheeling in a brand new bike to the party.

I suggested that for a relative who hasn’t given the gifts yet. I wouldn’t expect a parent to give away gifts a child had already recieved. It’s a completely different situation.

Is that not the entire point of Christmas and birthdays? To spoil them rotten

I wouldn't agree with the "too much" actually.

I mean, it obviously depends how many people buy for this child. But to me it sounds an appropriate amount from on aunt or uncle, say. It's around what my brother would have spent on DD at that age, and same amount of stuff.

And it's super thoughtful! Honestly, I would stick with your gut and don't over think this.

(Though it is sweet you are checking on here!).

Yes this is too much, definitely don't get more!
The art set alone would have been fine.

I don’t get why everything has to be a “pile” - kids that age can only focus on so much. I don’t think you’re doing them any favours. What you’ve got it fine but you could probably ditch the 4 colouring books etc.

I just mean in terms of each child as a “pile” in my room of what I’ve bought

No they get physically tired from opening too much ! And overwhelmed too. And then the stuff has to be ostored somewhere .

No I don’t think the point is to “spoil” them. It’s to give them a thoughtful gift with which they are delighted, and for them to not have unrealistic expectations for the rest of their lives, and turn out “spoilt”

No because otherwise they just go through the mechanisms of opening present after present, demanding next and not really looking at or being bothered about anything they have already received. All they learn from this is that more is meant to be best and they are less likely to appreciate any thoughtfully bought gifts.

I think that’s LOADS!!

I’ve never seen that in my family. They open each one, look at it and give us a hug/kiss to say thank you and then into the next

it's a lot to give when it's not your child.

If you are the auntie, and you have no children, it's also perfectly normal to go completely overboard and treat nieces and nephews, I wouldn't worry about it too much 😂

It's nice when kids are spoilt.

Sounds like plenty however why 4 colouring books - that's a lot of the same thing.

This is loads.

One big present or a couple of smaller ones is enough for any child's birthday.

When I was at school, we used to go up in assembly on our birthday and we allowed to show our presents and cards. Yes, I know how inappropriate this is. But the head had a talent in making every child's presents/cars/party arrangements sounding amazing.
I remember particularly there was a family of about 7 or 8, and the little one the year younger than me saying how she'd been given a pencil and a pencil sharpener and a rubber by her siblings, and a home made card. She was standing next to a lad who had got loads of presents, all much bigger than those. The head managed to present it as though the presents were equal, and to my mind I saw no difference in what a nice set of presents they had.

Why do I remember? I remember simply because I overheard her older siblings discussing how they were going to pay the shopkeeper back with their bus money at the end of the week, and wondering if he would also let them have a birthday candle "on the slate" so they could sing happy birthday round it - which hit me with a jolt as I was still at the stage where our parents would "buy" the presents from us.

She adores colouring, and is off on a big holiday in a couple weeks. I thought it would be nice for her to have some new ones to keep her entertained on the plane!

Maybe you are lucky then, but it's still encouraging them that a pile of presents is important. What if next year you only bought one thing?
It's also a birthday close to Christmas, surely they will be overwhelmed with gifts and it makes it tricky for everyone to actually think of things they need as they have already had it all.

Potentially they might not have had a class birthday party either. Being 5 are they having a party with school friends? We never did the whole class thing and limited it to around 10 friends, but that is still 10 extra presents which might be smaller bits like pens and colouring books. If they live in some areas it might be a whole class party where 25+ kids might come with gifts.

Maybe think about experiences or a pass for somewhere as time goes on as this often is more useful to parents (and less clutter in the house).

I would save some of the colouring books to give as ‘just because’ presents at other times, personally.

One would be enough. All of them seems like overkill, but you know how you gift in your family.

I’ve seen this suggested a lot but I can’t imagine any under 5 would understand and appreciate what an experience pass is?!

Of course they would. The parent would show it to them and read to them what it is. Explaining to them it's a ticket to wherever (soft play, zoo, cinema etc). When they use it the parents can also say to them they are using the pass you gave them.
Are you just trying to go for a wow point and have the best gift or do you want something that would be genuinely useful? As a parent there is only so much space you have and therefore tickets do become more useful.

I think it’s fine, OP, I spoil our nieces and nephews as well. You’ve definitely got enough there - I’d wrap most of it up in the same wrapping paper as a bundle. She’s super lucky to have you for an aunt!