DH depressed but refusing help

[Nocameltoeleggingsplease]

DH has been depressed for years. This used to result in in him being a total arse but just as I was about to get my ducks in a row (he didn’t know); he had a life changing health event and his personality changed overnight. He’s now kinder, gentler and we are so much happier together. He’s still depressed though.
Recently he brought this up at a doctors appointment which I was really impressed with him for (I was there so I know what was said), and he was prescribed antidepressants as well as recommended talking therapy. There is a small chance that the medication might react with his current medications but they would monitor it.
He doesn’t want to do it. Either talk or take tablets. He’s talked himself out of both. But that still leaves me as the person he offloads on, while he also apologies for offloading on me.
AIBU to be really angry he won’t try the alternatives?

When I was depressed, I used the mantra: Just because I don't want to do it doesn't mean I am not going to do it. I used to say it aloud: Just because you don't want to shower and get dressed doesn't mean you won't. I'd keep saying it until I was in the shower.

One thing I never did was offload on DH. I was terrified if I was a joy sucking PITA he'd leave me! So I kept it bottled up. that's not great but at least it means your partner is not overloaded. Being depressed does not grant anyone the right to be a selfish arsehole. It is a very selfish illness but that doesn't mean you have to tolerate bad behaviour from him.

Tell him just because he doesn't want to is no excuse not to. He has to take steps to get better. You are drained from him offloading. he needs to do that with a therapist. Or offload into a journal. And not trying medication is unacceptable too. It may not work. There are lots of horrible side effects to ADs (weight gain, loss of libido, extreme lethargy, flat mood - not sad but not happy either, just kind of robotic. But they are well worth a shot, especially as a short term measure to reboot, then taper off very slowly before the side effects get a chance to kick in. The smaller side effects, like dry mouth and dizziness only last a couple of weeks and he (AND YOU!) have already put up with far worse for years.

Also, this is just anecdotal, but lots of depressed people, especially men with very capable wives, find they can actually step up in a crisis and it makes them feel better about themselves. Try having 'flu' or a migraine and being unable to do the basics. He might find it helps reset him.