I’m really struggling at the moment. I don’t have a village network, I have family and lots of friends but realistically no one that I could ask for help or rely on, which I find sad and hard too. Both sets of retired grandparents live within 20 minutes but very hands of. I have no idea why, sometimes I wonder if Covid had an effect as my daughter was during right at the start of Covid and we had all the lockdowns etc. Sometimes I wonder if it’s me, am I the problem? I never ask for help but I do and I have been open a couple of times to say I find it hard and overwhelming. I am also possibly autistic and awaiting a diagnosis.
This morning I had an appointment to get braces fitted, I’ve been looking forward to this for months, it’s the only thing I’m doing for me. I’m off work today, my daughter woke up not feeling well, she didn’t look well and is never off school so I thought ok ill bring her home it’s not fair for her to go in like that. I asked my parents if there was any chance they could come here while I have my braces fitted just for 30-45 mins. It was around 10am and it wasn’t alot of notice but an hour. My parents weren’t able to help and blamed the fact it was short notice, there might be traffic and they might have to defrost the car. It’s really bothered me, I never ever ask for help, my parents come round for an hour or two at a time every month or so. I know it’s not my parents fault, it’s no one’s fault but I did feel let down. My mum then said I need to give more notice, I said no worries have you got anything nice planned today? My mum said I’m going to put some washing out as it’s brightening up later. This might be a bad one off example but I just wondered if anyone else feels like this? I don’t want to feel resentful towards my parents, I chose to have a family but everyone around me seems to have heaps of support, sleepovers, babysitting etc.