That being a dad in a split relationship doesn’t give you the lions share in all family milestones.

[Alwaysthereforthechaos]

I guess I’m just frustrated, it was a big milestone for DSS over the past few days. DH has been sidelined in the protection of DSS’s mum.
Is this normal?

We know nothing about the woman.

Not sure who she needs protection from, who expects the man to not attend something (or who organised the event), or why the man doesnt organise his own event.

Where did you see about the child being used as a weapon?

Normally 50/50 means no maintenance payments so why is your DH paying for everything. Can't you do a separate celebration of your DSS's milestone event when he is at your house?

She needs to out the kids first. End of. The rest is nonsense. She uses them as a weapon by purposely excluding their PARENT from important events. Do you not think the kid wants both parents there ?

No idea.

If dad really does a true 50/50 as in covering not just weekends and school holidays, but being the parent on weekdays, doing the school runs, helping with homework, going to doctors appts, etc, then yes it is unfair to not share important events. If dad instead gets the children around his work schedule, then I don’t think there is anything wrong with prioritizing the parent who does the bulk of the hard parenting.

Whst milestone events? Why can't he organise them.if they are e.g.birthdays?

Is DSS older and asking dad not to come?