Are we being delusional?

[Nefrititi]

My dh has worked for the same person for 24 years on and off but mostly on and worked mostly abroad with them.
he has a v unique role which has changed somewhat over those years but his boss is a female entrepreneur (in her late 70’s now) and likes him to by her side most of the time (just feels safer with him around ).
when he started working for her all those years ago she had just sold her first company and made an absolute fortune.
she began a new venture with a view to doing the same thing (selling once at the top).
this did extremely well and has just sold for a ridiculous amount of money - good luck to her as she’s worked really hard.
Several times over the years due to their unique relationship (she has referred to him as the Son she never had) she has said that him and his family would be well looked after once the company sold.
So the company got sold fairly recently and another of the key employees said to him ‘ I imagine you’ll be well looked after as I remember her saying that to you on a few occasions as I’m getting my share soon’
So dh said ‘ nothings been mentioned so assume I’m not getting anything’
Dh lives with them for half of the year abroad for work - as I say a really unique role and he’s crushed atm, not necessary because of the money but just the lack of thought.
he’s been present when he’s heard about what everyone else is being given (by the boss) and feels totally mugged off.
They don’t actually need him anymore so he’s thinking maybe keeping him in work is reward enough?? I jumped don’t know what to think but I know I’m a person of my word and if I’ve promised something I’m delivering on it.
On the other hand I’m really it surprised as money can do nasty things to people

Maybe the other employee didn’t get anything either and was just fishing to see if your DH got anything.

Share options for essential or early employees is a pretty normal accommodation in the start up world.

Tbh if this wasn't given at the time, you know there was no intention to share the profits.

Obviously they have behaved badly in promising something that wasn't then offered, but you and your dp also need to make sure you're informed of your legal rights.

The other employee definitely did get a big payout, well deserved as he’s an integral part of the company, it’s just that he had witnessed what was said to dh over the years which I’m pleased about.
other employees would 100% assume dh would be due something but as I said a very unique role and has always sub contracted never on payroll so maybe that?
But why say over the years about him and family being looked after?

Thanks for your reply. Unfortunately he only sub contracted for all those years. He did try and go payroll route and they promised they would sort it but never did so he doesn’t have a leg legally to stand on.
He’s the only ‘employee’ that lives with them and the only one the boss wants ‘round her 24/7.
Such a weird set up but it’s always worked for him/us/them.
he’s travelled all over the world with them sometimes to the detriment of our own family and as I say for him it’s not necessarily the money side but the lack of appreciation after promises.
He said he’s going to tread water for another 2 years then leave and he’s really starting to resent being there now, away from us with little reward

his boss is a female entrepreneur (in her late 70’s now) and likes him to by her side most of the time (just feels safer with him around ).

He’s the only ‘employee’ that lives with them and the only one the boss wants ‘round her 24/7.
Such a weird set up

'Weird set-up' is quite the understatement.

He said he’s going to tread water for another 2 years then leave and he’s really starting to resent being there now, away from us with little reward

Well she has no reason to reward him when he shows willing to carry on being treated like this. Why would he give another two years?

If he resigns now it might focus her mind and get him on the payroll or whatever he wants. Right now he’s saying ‘yes, please treat me like a mug for another two years’.

"Unfortunately he only sub contracted for all those years. He did try and go payroll route and they promised they would sort it but never did so he doesn’t have a leg legally to stand on."

Assuming this is the UK, if he has only worked for this one employer for the last 24 years he is most likely entitled to be considered an employee - not just morally, but also in terms of tax and national insurance and employee rights. Even as a sub-contractor, if he only has one client and that client controls his work, then he is likely to be considered to be an employee. He needs to get urgent legal advice regarding his status.

No this isn’t the UK and there’s no way anything would stand legally and tbh he wouldn’t want to pursue that even if he could.
he’s a good person and I hate seeing him treated like this. The money is fairly good so that’s why he wants to stick it out for 2 more years then he has options.
They don’t actually need him now so maybe them keeping him on is their ‘reward’ 😏
There have been some good perks over the years don’t get me wrong but he really thought maybe just maybe she would be true to her word and help him out financially.
She knows there’s a cost of living crisis on and that we’re not exactly loaded.
He said he’s seen a different side to her since the money came in and it’s not a nice one.
She was already a multi millionaire before this, now in billionaire territory!

If she does plan to “look after him” then she’ll certainly be looking into the legal and taxation implications of it. Depending on where you are, these could be complex: a former business owner giving an employee (you say contractor, but how that’s viewed by tax authorities is jurisdiction employment law dependent) a large sum of money post-sale which isn’t within a formal equity or share plan or arrangement can look an awful lot from the outside like a tax dodge, an agreement for payment outside of a taxable salary, to the benefit of both employer and employee. It’s very unlikely to be as simple as simply making him a nice fat bank transfer as if she were a kindly friend or relative.

Ultimately, your DH has to learn a lesson from this. He’s been with the business for over two decades, never sought to formalise his employment, never opened up a conversation about equity or shares, doesn’t seem to have thought through the implications of their “arrangement.” He might see it as trusting, but it’s also very naive.

He really has for years tried to formalize his employment but always hit a brick wall.
He has accepted there’s nothing coming as anything that was handed out has been done and dusted and the rest is tied up in trusts/bonds etc.
It has made us lose so much respect for her and I promise you it’s not only money but just the fact that not even an acknowledgement of how hard he’s worked over the years even to the detriment of us his own family.
You certainly do live and learn!

This.

Often people say they will 'look after you when business sold/home sold/they die' etc but if nothing is written down then nothing is certain. I believe that some people do this as a way of keeping a hold over others - keeping them with them and useable, that might be why. But, lots of very rich people never seem to have enough money and can be incredibly greedy and use promises to gain control, if that is the case then not a very nice individual.

My ex MIL used to look after any elderly gentleman, doing his shopping, helping care for him and take him out for many years with the family 'promising to look after her when his very large house sold. She was never paid for all the running around and when he died they forgot, sold the house and never heard from them again. Users.

I have screenshotted your message to send to him. So true. Just spoke to him and he seems so down atm and I’ve told him to get on the next flight home and to hell with them but he says he can’t do that financially atm.
Really feels they’re treating him worse since the money has come through. I can barely speak to him about them anymore because I hate them for what they’re doing to him

but he says he can’t do that financially atm.

Apart from anything else, leaving aside his feelings about being poorly treated, he needs to be prioritising looking for a new job if he and your family are dependent on his income. The company has been sold, the founder will no longer have the same level of influence she once did (if she’s even intending to remain connected to the business as a director or advisor) and you’ve said that his role is no longer necessary / he’s going to tread water. The new owners will have a business and financial plan which is very unlikely to have a place in it for a water-treading old-timer whose role they’ll realise is unnecessary. There will be a resource shakedown, and the new owners won’t be much interested in his years of dedication to the founder, they’ll see somebody straddling a blurred line between being an employee and a contractor who was mostly connected by some odd loyalty and friendship to the founder, and will be looking to let him go.