Another childcare rant - how do people do it?!

[SMLSML]

If you and your partner both work how do you manage childcare? My eldest started school in September and prior to this we had wraparound care in nursery. We now use after school club, however this is committee led and we've just had an email saying it's at risk of closure due to not enough volunteers. If you don't use after school club how do families make it work? Do grandparents help 5 days a week? Honestly sick of this country not helping working parents 🫠 the irony of parents needing to be on the committee to keep it open when you're already busy working and juggling a million other school bits and pieces is hilarious to me also 😅 it's something I'd love to be part of but have no idea how if find time... Any and all advice welcome!

@MidnightPatrol Wow £35/day. Looks like I will be doing pickup for my DGC when they start school

But the ASC isn’t under threat of closure because it’s not viable/is underused/is in a village. It’s because there are no parents stepping up to volunteer for the committee

Yes, childcare in this country is very, very tricky and expensive. I remember my shock when I came here and the working hours were 9-17:30. I reached home at 7pm. Back at home (Central Europe) it's normal to work 7:30-3.30, latest 4pm. 5pm is very late and it's usually only in big Western corporations. It's so hard if both parents have to work these hours. I've seen many set-ups when only a husband works like that and a wife is a teacher working 8am-2pm or in local administration 7am-3pm with many benefits and perks on top of that. This is much more family-friendly. All nurseries close at 5pm and schools are only 4-6 hours a day and times vary, so it's tricky. It's other family members who usually step up, because it's kind of expected of them culturally. But in UK it's horrendously hard without that help and also extremely expensive, plus, kids are probably miserable having to stay at school till evening.

This summarizes the potential solutions the OP is asking for. Of course none of them are easy, but that’s the situation. In the OPs shoes I’d go for 1)3)4)5)2) in order of possible actions.

the OP says she’s sick of ‘the country’ not helping working parents but I’m not sure what exactly she expects ‘the country’ to do! We’ve already explained that in terms of number of nurseries, wraparound school clubs, subsidised childcare, right to request flexible working, legislation around parental leave, and length of maternity leave, successive governments have actually done a hell of a lot over the last few decades. Try going back 30 years when I had my kids, or 30 years before that when my mum had me and things were even worse- she literally had no option but to give up work when she had me and my sister.

it’s simply not true that there is no support. The reality though is that there are still tough decisions and expenses to being working parents. If the OP just wants to sound off, that’s one thing but she does seem to dismiss any suggestions people have made

Because not everyone who works is in your situation

I WFH during school hours 4 days a week. It's only 22 hours but isn't term time only so still have to cover school holidays. It has however totally shafted my career prospects. Going full time with wrap around care, commuting costs etc would actually make me worse off than what I bring home now.

DH does a job where last minute he could work over or be told to catch a flight the next day. As he is the breadwinner in an unpredictable job it has had to be my career on the line unfortunately.

They’ve replied saying £10 in the morning and £25 in the afternoon!

This is London prices.

And - it’s available for quite long hours, as I think most of the parents need some degree of flexibility on that.

So you end up paying for more than you use.

Local nurseries all over £100 a day..!

Join the committee, or your husband does and influence a change to the frequency of the meetings / effectiveness. Do most by Teams for example with F2F once a quarter. Set expectations across all parents not just those on a nebulous committee that everyone needs to muck in so you can all work.

It's your kids school, you can potentially drive really positive change rather than complain about it. What are the actual duties of the committee versus the school governors?

That's it exactly.
All the parents who use it, want it to run. But somebody needs to take responsiblity for it, anybody could but nobody wants to, and everybody thinks somebody else will.

Reminds me of an old story.
4 people Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody.
Everybody thought Somebody would do the job. Anybody could have done it but Nobody did it.Somebody got angry because it was Everybodys job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it,
It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have.

One meeting each month via Teams - you and your DH could take it in turns so easily time manageable?

It's probably a bit of both.
If OP joins the committee and finds it is viable, they could propose a plan to pay for management or bring in an outside provider.
Either way, my point stands.

Honestly, I don’t think your point does stand, because your point was about small village schools not always being viable.

But happy to agree to differ.

Yes, I'm in the SW and ASC until 5.45 is £7.50. breakfast club is £2. Nurseries are about £7 an hour.

It’s not ‘just one meeting a month’ though. Joining the committee means becoming trustees for the preschool which runs as a charity/not for profit. Effectively, they will be the employers of the staff running the preschool and ASC. That’s not a small ask. It is necessary, and somebody has to do it, but I’m getting a bit sick of seeing people who clearly have no idea what is involved tell the OP that she’s being ridiculous not to want to just join a few meetings.

I was a school governor as well having DT’s at a different school and working full time so am fully aware of the commitment surrounding volunteering.

If that’s the case why are you presenting it as just one Teams meeting a month? If the OP joins the committee and the preschool manager resigns, she will be jointly responsible for employing another. If the preschool/ ASC stops becoming financially viable, she will be responsible for making all the staff redundant. She will be jointly accountable for making sure they meet their responsibilities to the charity commission. She will be accountable when OFSTED comes in. It is not just a time commitment, and it’s not fair to imply to the OP that she’s being unreasonable not to want to accept that level of responsibility because ‘it’s just one Teams meeting a month’.

I work part time and DH works flexibly, we both work predominantly from home. Our school does have a decent after school club though which we use sometimes. DD is high energy and some of her friends go so sometimes she goes to after school club just to keep her busy!

I was a school governor as well having DT’s at a different school and working full time so am fully aware of the commitment surrounding volunteering.

Then you’ll know that it’s not just a time commitment but a legal responsibility, and I personally don’t think it’s unreasonable of the OP not to want to become the legal employer of her children’s ASC providers. It’s a choice she may choose to make in the circumstances, but not because it’s just a case of joining a Teams call or two.

Honestly I have never worked full time in my entire life I do every pick up and drop up and my husband works full time yes very old fashioned yes I would be screwed if my marriage broke down and had our first child at 16 so not even any qualifications except GCSEs to go on the cv.

I think people need to be more realistic before deciding to have kids. Sticking babies in nursery full time, primary school kids in breakfast and afterschool clubs every day - what’s the point? Parents (mum & dad) need to sit down, look at their finances and figure out if they can afford reduced hours/flexible working etc and plan how they can raise their own children, not constantly expecting other people to do it for them.

OK...and if the upshot is that both parents do need to work and childcare of this kind needs to be used OR the couple decide not to have kids at all, do you prefer the latter? on a population level? cos that's going to make it quite hard to sustain an ageing society.

Or parents decide they can’t work (because reduced hours / flexible working are not universally available and are in fact something of a unicorn in many roles)- what does that do to the economy in the short term when fewer people are economically active? Let alone the longer term of population decline.

They sit down, they work out their finances and realise that additional care isn't a nice thing to have but a necessity. So what do you suggest then?

My parents worked full time and then my grandparents looked after us 5 days a week.

Before i had a baby my parents promised one day of childcare help a week. This meant that i only needed nursery 2 days a week as i was also off 2 days.

3 months into the one day a week my parents told me they didn't want to do it anymore. They wanted to have the flexibility to go away as it was getting warmer.

I had no choice then but to find additional childcare.

My point is, circumstances can change in a heartbeat even with the best of plans.
.