Would you sacrifice money for happiness in a job - if you really needed the money ?

[Howdoyoudodoyoudo]

As the title says - would you take a lower paid job but be happy in your job with a great work life balance when you could have a job earning more with lots of stress - if you DID need the money / it would make a difference?

I am not after advice on what to do - I love my job and will never leave , but I sometimes feel guilt over the fact that I could earn more.

I am a teacher. Almost had a breakdown . Never had no time for my children, constantly bringing work home with me , anxiety every single day , was utterly miserable .

I now work in a different job - still in teaching but also management and a whole different area. I absolutely adore my job. A Monday feels no different to a Friday. I get home around the same time but I bring no work home with me . I don’t have a single ounce of anxiety , I don’t dislike any part of my job , I feel completely satisfied. I can’t describe how much I love it and the difference it’s made.

But - it’s lower pay. I am on around £4 - 5k per year less than I could be. My recent pay rise is under the absolute minimum a teacher gets and I am feeling the pinch . There is progression I know but I just don’t know when and how much etc.

I could buy my kids more if I had more money - we get by but I do have debt and I do have to watch things more. But - I think of having that extra money but the misery I felt and I feel like it wouldn’t be worth it , but is that selfish of me ? The thought of ever leaving this job makes me feel depressed I think I have found the dream job in terms of job satisfaction and my mental health so am therefore a better mother because of it but those niggles do creep in.

so I wonder what others would do ?

If you were more stressed it would impact your resilience and you would perhaps have less to give all round. Don’t underestimate how much being emotionally stable benefits your children. There’s no right or wrong answer because it differs for each individual but I’d follow your instincts.

'Really need' to me means couldn't put food on the table and have a warm home and suitable clothing. If that was the case I would chose the money. However, if what it means is driving a cheaper car, less holidays/days out and cheaper food and clothing I would 100% go for the less stressful job.
You only get one chance at being a parent, or at life for that matter. Being happy and present is really important and will give your DC the resilience and skills they need to make it on their own in the world as adults. It will also give the whole family a more pleasant life in the here and now and lovely memories you can talk about in the future.

I think happiness is more important than money (as long as you can put food on the table etc). What would you tell your children to do if it was them? I think most parents would want their children to be happy so why should it be any different for you?

I know this isn’t the point of the thread but I’m a teacher and am really interested in what your new role is?

I used to earn triple what I do now. I wouldn’t go back at this point in my life, the flexibility and lack of stress I have is worth the pay cut while my children are young. I might reconsider when they’re significantly older (& probably more expensive!).

Don't even for one second ever doubt your decision. You have made the right decision and you should make it a million times over. You love your job. You are happy and you aren't stressed. Your children will know this and feel this. You know the benefits it brings. My God there's more to life than money. You've done the right thing. Absolutely categorically do not feel guilty about the job you have. Enjoy it, relish it, know how lucky you are. And be proud of yourself for modelling it to your children

I don’t think being able to buy my kids more (assuming all the bills are paid and you can put food on the table) is worth compromising your health for. If you changed job it sounds like all that would happen is the guilt would shift to not being present for them and stressing about your work. If you’re happy in your job, that’s a good thing.

It depends, are you in debt because you can't pay for the mandatory day to day things and the debt will increase inevitably or is it that you need the credit to even out large payments at a manageable monthly amount?

Debt is from previous situations , it’s manageable in terms of I’m paying monthly amounts - I owe credit cards , overdraft etc that I’m living in but it’s not putting me in a situation that I can’t put food on the table it’s just over my head and takes more of my income.

In terms of struggling - again, it’s not that I can’t afford essentials it’s a case of I could do more with more money , have to say no to things , not had a holiday .. but I manage to give them nice days out, Christmas presents etc but I’m usually paying out each month for klarna , PayPal etc due to that.

so I’m living out of my means in a way but it’s manageable and not affecting day to day I just can’t save for the future etc . I do think this probably is quite common .

It's either a choice or isn't really, you either NEED the money or you don't. The fact that you're able to make this choice means you don't NEED the money. If you needed it wouldn't be a choice. That's the case for lots of people of course, no choice.

Like you, I have the luxury of a choice and I would make the same choice you have. My happiness and mental wellbeing is far more important to me.

Echoing others, per the title if you really needed the money then of course happiness would need to be sacrificed temporarily for money.

From your actual post, if you don't really need the money then happiness is extremely valuable and I wouldn't feel bad for choosing it over nice to haves.

I think being a teacher for 30 years is incredibly stressful so can’t be good for your health. I have one family member who is a deputy head and she absolutely loves it. It’s super important to her and she will never leave. I know many other teachers and they are all on the verge of breakdowns and hate it. It sounds incredibly hard to me.

All of us have bills to pay etc and most of us try our hardest to support our families.

I have a public sector job and I have had 2 promotions. I categorically cannot ever get promoted again as I wouldn’t cope. It’s too much for me. I’ve told everyone at work and in my home life the honest truth. I’m proud of what I have achieved but I won’t ever get promoted again. I have 16 years until retirement but I won’t get any higher up. Everyone agrees with me that I’ve done my best and that’s the end of it. No point making myself ill to achieve higher and higher. If at any stage I get bored (which I highly doubt) I’ll take on a challenge in my home life instead like join a new club.
A friend of mine has been an amazing carer for years. I say amazing as she is one of the kindest most caring people I know and she has gone above and beyond for the people she cares for. Now she has started a nursing degree and it is just too much for her. She is on the verge of a breakdown. I wish she would just leave and go back to caring.

So I think it’s good for everyone to aim to be the best that they can be but also recognise that we are all only human and can all only do what we can do. If your new job is manageable and teaching isn’t then that is what you need to do. There are other ways to make money. I have a lodger and would highly recommend it. Me and my teenagers love having her. I’m doing it for the money but she is very sweet and kind and we like having her around.

Could you do additional tuition on the side and then you can continue with this current role that you enjoy and then bolster you wage for niceties with something you can ramp up and down as required?

I don't know if your idea of need is the same as mine, because to me "need" means my kids are going hungry otherwise. I've worked some absolutely shocking jobs and stuck at them for the sake of keeping food on the table.

This! You cannot put a price on your happiness. So pleased for you that you made the move.

Also, trying not to be morbid, my mum was a teacher and died at the relatively young age of 64, as did her head teacher. Like there were at least 5 of her school that I know of that retired and immediately became very unwell. Like she worked really hard for a retirement she didn’t get to enjoy at all. I’m not saying being a teacher makes you unwell - I don’t think it’s as direct as that. I just don’t think pushing on empty and running on adrenaline is good for the body in any long term way. I know i would far rather have my mum still alive than have been on holidays or had loads of “stuff”

well I definitely chose low pay low stress. I earn a good amount per hour but only work half time. I wanted to be around for DC when they were little, and to have the energy to spend time with them at weekends, to cook them healthy meals, go for walks, chat for hours.

But I didn't have serious money worries. Money was very tight at certain times - we often had far less than neighbours in high-flying jobs but we were never in debt. If we had been worried about money, I would have increased my hours.

There is a big grey area, imo, which I really didn't want to get into, where you earn more but spend it all on wraparound childcare, cleaners, gardeners, ready meals , smart work-appropriate clothes and haircuts. I honestly thought time with DC was more precious than that.

I couldn’t and wouldn’t go back to working in a job I hated for any amount of money, unless I was absolutely desperate. I did lots of shitty jobs when I was a student and people talked to me like I was a piece of shit regularly. It isn’t worth going back to that pain. I now do the job I love and even though it’s insecure for many reasons, I love it and feel happy doing it. The pay isn’t amazing but it’s worth it.

Is there no alternative? Like finding job you don’t hate that pays more than your current job?

Ordinarily I would advise to pick the job that’s better for your mental health, but you mention being in debt and there being little progression, so I would be looking for a better paying job (without too much added stress, ideally).