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AIBU?

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Friends after birth

10 replies

PinkBubblesPlease · 20/11/2025 16:10

Hello all

I have a few different friends groups. One friend group, which consists of me and three other women who I used to work, have went quiet since having my baby.

We would see each other every few months and would have a girly weekend away every year. Last year, we had booked up again and then I found out I was pregnant. I didn't say anything as I was anxious (1st pregnancy). We then told close family and some friends after 12 week scan (we waited to tell friends in person so it depended when we met up with them) and then other people found after 16 week scan (or was it 20 week? I actually can't remember when 2nd scan is now... baby brain!!). I told this group of friends after 16/20 week scan. It meant I wasn't able to go away for the weekend as due date was week before (the weekend date is set as we go to a festival every year).

I had paid half of my money for the trip and never expected a penny back. It was never offered back anyway. The week before I told one friend was asking about booking seats for the bus, I agreed and let her continue. I felt bad knowing I wasn't going but wanted to wait for the following week to tell them in person the reason why. Also, I was paying anyway!

Anyway, when I told the three of them when I met, two of them had guessed anyway and we're visibly really happy for me. Giving me cuddles, asking usual questions.. do you know if boy/girl, how are you feeling, etc. The third friend said "you could have told me before I booked the bus ticket", I apologised and said i didn't know what to do. She laughed and said "im joking". After dinner we got dessert, half way through desserts this friend said she suddenly didn't feel well and left early. Which is so unlike her.

They were then all invited to my baby shower but this friend wouldn't give me an answer if she could attend or not, she would blank messages, only message back when I asked the other two friends if she was okay. On the morning of my baby shower she cancelled. She said she wasn't feeling well. That was 8 months ago and I haven't heard from her since. Well, I got a congrats when baby was born and she sent a picture of her at said festival but didn't reply back to any messages when i asked how it was etc.
For the festival she actually went with her husband and slowly invited the other two friends. No one got any money back.
Last week I messaged asking how they all were, the other two replied as usual and she said nothing.

I dont get it. Its not like we were a party group, always out every weekend and now I've changed the dynamics. They are all 20 years older than me with children of their own (albeit older kids). I feel sad as I used to enjot our catch ups and annual festival weekend getaway. I asked the other day if they were going next year as id like to go and got ignored.
Am I being paranoid or do you think they aren't interested in being my friend anymore since having a baby? I know that sounds silly... like why would they do that but I cant think of any other reason. What would you do?
Thank you

OP posts:
PinkBubblesPlease · 20/11/2025 16:25

Sorry to clarify when I agreed to go back to said festival I wasn't pregnant. I found out months after we booked that I was pregnant.

OP posts:
PinkBubblesPlease · 20/11/2025 16:32

Also typo!! She slowly uninvited the other two friends from the trip. She went with her husband. Staying in the accommodation I half paid for and the other two half paid for too. No one got money back. At baby shower I asked other two if they were looking forward to trip but they said other friend had stopped messaging about it.

OP posts:
NovemberRedHolly · 20/11/2025 16:40

She might be struggling to get pregnant. She might have other problems or things going on her life that don’t revolve around you unfortunately. It’s not always about you.

Suusue · 20/11/2025 16:42

Shes very very jealous.

PinkBubblesPlease · 20/11/2025 16:45

NovemberRedHolly · 20/11/2025 16:40

She might be struggling to get pregnant. She might have other problems or things going on her life that don’t revolve around you unfortunately. It’s not always about you.

She's mid-50 so I doubt she's struggling to get pregnant. She also has grown kids of her own.

OP posts:
PinkBubblesPlease · 20/11/2025 16:50

NovemberRedHolly · 20/11/2025 16:40

She might be struggling to get pregnant. She might have other problems or things going on her life that don’t revolve around you unfortunately. It’s not always about you.

Also I know it isn't about me but she left earlier at dinner and hasnt really spoken to me since. When she was ignoring my baby shower messages I was asking if everything was okay. I asked my other teo friends if she was okay too.

OP posts:
shdb · 20/11/2025 16:52

My initial thought was that she’d just lost a baby or something, but sounds like she’s too old for that!

V strange.

I would be tempted to message her nicely and just ask if you’ve done anything wrong as you’ve noticed she doesn’t want to hang around as much. Either that or I would just accept it for what it is and move on (as shit as that is).

I can’t work it out, but crap situation x

shdb · 20/11/2025 16:53

Also, I’m assuming the other friends must know why she’s being like this. Do you think they would tell you?

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 20/11/2025 16:54

Go to the festival with the other two. Ignore the childishness from her.

SkaneTos · 20/11/2025 16:55

Congratulations on the arrival of your baby!

Very difficult to guess why your friend is acting like this. Perhaps she has something going on in her life.
Can you ask one of the other friends what they think about the situation, in confidence?

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