to try and make new friends in my 30's.

[aredrosegrewup]

I've had a shit couple of years with infertility and depression. It's affected all areas of my life and the infertility stuff is still ongoing.

I've been in therapy for nearly a year now which has been slow going but helpful.

One of the areas this has all affected is friendships. I've lost so many friends and we've also lost couple friendships. I've gone from seeing people at least once a week, individually or as couples, days/nights out, having people round/going to theirs and all of the extended friendships that come with it.

I'm now literally down to 2 friends, one of them I hardly ever see (not for any negative reason), and the other I see more often but not all that often.

I've become such a lonely house hermit and as much as I love being at home and I really, truly do, I want to be seeing people and having good conversations, having a glass of wine, going to a museum, going out in the woods. I do all these things with my other half or on my own but it's just not the same is it?

How on earth do I make friends. I did join a local gardening group and they're all lovely but significantly older than me, which is fine, but they're in a different stage of life.

I have joined an online thing called grounded connections but I feel like a tit! I haven't met up with anyone yet because I've only just signed up, but I'm a bit shy meeting others too and it takes me a while to warm up!

Has anyone found themselves in this position before and can offer any advice?? Thank you!

I'm in my 50s and have recently made loads of new friends by joining a sports club.

Oooo, I might give Grounded Connections ago then, thanks for the heads up! I'm based near Stockport, close to the Peak District so might be plenty of meet ups that way for outdoor groups.

My top advice is do something you love and bring ten pinches of salt. So be prepared to join lots of groups and kiss lots of frogs. Groups are a good start because, at a minimum, those people are looking for interaction too and like that activity.

I think friendships are actually, really hard. Everyone wants making friends to be easy but making long-term friends is not so simple. (nurture your long-time friends; make time for video calls and coffees and meet-ups)

Friendships are as tough as finding a new lover but without the extra gloss of potential (romantic) relationships which smoothes over the twingey misgivings and powers you past the initial, minor turn-offs until your interactions develop depth and connection.

I have learned so much from observing my DDs' social interactions. It has explained so much about my past social interactions.

My experience has been that most 'friendships' are actually situationships: you work together or have small children together or go to a club/class together or you bond some other way, potentially traumatic, but it is for the situation. My take is: enjoy these. Have a great time chatting/catching up with people in your art/yoga/cooking class but be prepared for these 'friendships' to peter out when the situation ends - this is the very definition of work friendships.

Second meet up.

Another vote for a running club. I was 23 when I joined and I made friends with people in their 30's, 40's and 50's. Running is a great leveller, you meet people with a similar interest to you but who have very different jobs, lifestykes etc. You can go to races with and socialise and runnibg people are always up for a party! I've stayed constant friends with a few and now class myself as a 'Social Member' following an ankle injury then having a baby. My Mum had actually joined the running group a few months ago after my Dad died and she said it's been very welcoming.