Mobile phone etiquette

[EthicsOnThePrecipice]

I know there have been numerous threads in the past regarding this subject, but they end up in an echo chamber kind of situation, where pretty much everyone agrees that using your mobile phone in certain ways is despicable. Obviously that cannot be the case, as there must be a sufficient amount of people out there acting in a way that sparks this outrage in the first place.

So, a) watching videos/reels or listening to music on speakerphone, b) having (video) calls on speakerphone c) talking on the phone either using earphones or "normally" but in a normal to loud voice and more than one minute.

Are you one of the apparently-non-existent-when-it-comes-to-Mumsnet-threads people that exhibit any or all of the abovementioned behaviours out in public? This is your thread and your time to shine. Are you oblivious to the fact that others find it rude? Are you aware, but you think it's normal and that they are pearl-clutching weirdos, so you do it anyway? Do you also find it rude/irritating/inconsiderate, but don't care because reasons?

YABU: It's normal, that's what smartphones are for
YANBU: It's rude and antisocial

I’m on a bus near a bloke who has his phone playing & his feet up.

I’m not commenting because he’s twice my size & anyone who thinks it’s ok to do that probably also thinks it’s ok to punch anyone who objects.

It only takes one person to disrupt 80 others on a train carriage

I talk on the phone in my normal voice for longer than a minute, I don't think that's rude (unless it's in a library or on a train or something)

Playing videos etc is rude, but I wouldn't say anything.

I was on the District Line this morning sat opposite a woman eating hard boiled eggs and tuna from a Tupperware container, shouting into her phone at someone screaming back at her on speaker. The noise and the smell were unbelievable. People were tutting subtly but she was completely oblivious. Amazing that some people have no concept of decency or considerate behaviour in public.

Just to clarify, situations like the ones described by EmpressaurusKitty's and rogueherries are not the ones in question. I would not expect yobs people who are openly and obviously antisocial in many/other ways to be considerate in regard to their mobile phone use. Due to my job I see loads of otherwise "normal" people using their phones in all kinds of ways and that's who I would like to hear from.

Now we're cooking.

The first question would be what is considered "normal voice"? For example I would never talk on the phone in public in the same volume that I would at home and definitelty not on speakerphone. Not only because I wouldn't want to annoy others, but also because I wouldn't want them to listen to my private conversations.

The second is what would you talk about for longer than a couple of minutes? If it was a call that had to be answered, something fairly important and time-sensitive, it would take a few seconds, maybe a minute. What's with people talking for 45 minutes straight about random, inane things like teenagers on a landline in their room in the 90s?

The third one would be where do you draw the line regarding location? Library is obvious, but why are some places fair game and others are not? Why not ok on trains, but ok someplace else? What about other means of transport? A cafe/resraurant? A shop?

Genuinely interested and intrigued

1 - just my normal talking voice.

2 - I have grown up children who call when it's convenient, so we chat when we can for as long as we can. I always answer. I've seen me doing my weekly shop while being on the phone the whole time.

3 - anywhere where people are 'trapped' together isn't OK imo. A shop would be fine because I'm wandering about doing my own thing, others are doing the same, but a cafe wouldn't be fine because everyone is sitting down in the same space and that would be annoying. I would also never be on the phone while dealing with the cashier or anyone else.

Listening to anything without earphones is obviously rude.

i will happily chat on the phone in my normal voice whilst I walk around a supermarket, for any length of time I fancy. I don’t understand why that would be considered rude?

I have briefly FaceTimed people whilst also in a supermarket to check I’m getting the correct product, and again, as long as I have earphones in I don’t see how that could be considered rude?

My partner and I were having dinner in a restaurant recently. A nearby table of 4 adults and 2 children FaceTimed what I assumed were the grandparents and proceeded to talk to them, passing the phone around, throughout the entire meal.

The children squealed each time the phone was passed to them.

The rest of the restaurant patrons were all looking around at each other in total disbelief.

Not a cafe or a pub, a quiet, serene, dimly lit Japanese restaurant.

I'd like to add a D) option of annoyance.

D) MIL playing angry birds at the dining table on her phone/tablet with the noise on high- 'wee, woosh, bang, crash' etc. And this is not just at HER dining table, but if she visits us also! 😡

The noise and the smell were unbelievable.
😂

I asked two young women to stop facetiming without earphones in my dentist waiting room. They responded really aggressively and said I was rude to challenge them and should mind my own business. The reception staff shrugged and said "Everyone does it. We can't stop them".

Generally speaking, am quite intolerant of phone use, especially people in cafes who sit opposite each other and only pass a couple of words IRL, or those you loudly talk on their phones in public. I have, however, answered the door to deliveries while on a team call or other work call on my mobile.

I try to make this obvious by motioning to the driver that I will sign etc, but find a handful will insist on LOUDLY confirming your name, address, and announcing they HAVE A DELIVERY FOR YOU, then wishing you a good day so that everyone on the call knows exactly what is happening.

I usually assume that people like that, or who play games with the sound up, either aren’t capable of understanding why it’s so rude, in which case it’s not worth explaining, or know it’s rude & don’t care, in which case it’s pointless & possibly dangerous to object.

That may be both rude & patronising, but it makes it easier to put up with their stupid racket.

It’s a bit rude to just gesticulate at a delivery driver. I always say hello and thanks.

Yes, it is rude, and I feel rude doing it. I just also need to try not to interrupt the call - especially if someone else is in mid-flow - so I suppose what I am saying is sometimes things that do seem rude are happening because people are juggling not being rude at the other end.

It really comes from the fact that technology now allows us to be socially in two places at once.

Some of the drivers are lovely but I can tell others are annoyed and wanting to make a point. It would help if they had more specific delivery windows tbh.

Oh and I always smile and mouth hello.

I do c. Finding a slot to call can be difficult otherwise. But I don't shout.

I use headphones for any listening / telephone conversations but do hate having conversations on the phone in public anyway as I’m quite private. But, someone talking on their phone or scrolling videos ar a volume similar to what you would be if engaged in conversation in public isn’t offensive to me. To me it’s just the same as two people talking in person around me.

That's a logical way to look at it. I shall try to be more tolerant by thinking that in future!

I'd like to think that no-one can ever hear what I am watching or listening to. I use headphones. I have an on and off ear issue and if I have a flare-up, I just can't listen to music or watch a video. It really isn't complicated.