Trauma bond anyone?

[TheOpalFox]

I’m
So stupid
He moved on and he’s engaged.
They have an argument so he texts me!!! I’m happy because he’s texting me but he’s only using me until they’re okay again? Why the hell do I put myself through this? Trauma bond massively :(

Is there a need for him to get in touch for other reasons?

If not, block him now. Right now.

Don’t be happy that he has been in contact. Be angry. He is expecting you to do what he considers wife work - to soothe and please him. Think to yourself “fuck him”. Say “fuck him” to yourself in the mirror. Say it forcefully and loudly. Just go and do it. Now. And keep saying it in different tones of voice until you are happy with how it makes you feel.

100% you nailed it.

Sorry love, I know it sort of feels a bit good for his attention at this time but he's using you to make himself feel better.
"Fuck him!"
( But not literally)

I don’t understand the relevance of a ‘trauma bond’ here. Are you saying he was abusive to you when you were in a relationship with him?

If so, it’s irrelevant whether he’s just using you for attention while he’s quarrelling with his fiancée or whether he believes you’re The One. He mistreated yku and you should in no way engage with him. Block him, unless you need to deal with him about shared children.

I don’t think it’s a trauma bond as you don’t describe any trauma. It’s more of an attachment that you haven’t moved on from.
Don’t be anyone’s fallback option to use and discard as he pleases.
Block him and start break the attachment.

Block and delete his number. Think of your dignity.

He sounds like an absolute weapon. Be glad he isn't your issue anymore, block his number and force yourself to move on. Give it six months of silence and you'll realise how much better life is without waiting for him to message you as his second best option.