Marriage

[Spacemoonpf]

Hi everyone,

I just wanted to ask something that’s been on my mind. Is it ever truly possible to be completely happy in a marriage — I mean a marriage where there’s no flirting to a point of exchanging texts, cheating, secrecy, or any of that? A relationship where you never have to worry about what your husband is doing on his phone, where everything feels open and transparent?

I’m asking because growing up, and even now as a married woman, I’ve never really seen an example of a marriage that feels genuinely safe, honest, and free from that kind of stress. It might be down to the culture I come from -African culture- we are encouraged to stay in a marriage even if it’s not healthy and personally that’s not something I want, but I’m curious to hear from others: does a marriage like that actually exist? And can someone truly be happy in it?

Is it unreasonable to want that kind of marriage and be truly happy?

What does any of this have to do with what I wrote?

And there is quite some variability in birth rates across what is a vast region comprised of multiple countries.

It’s like discussing the “Asian birthrate” and putting Japan, Pakistan, Vietnam, China, India etc in the same bucket.

It’s possible, I have met up with old friends today, another couple. They have been togetehr for 35 years and we have been together for almost 30 years. No cheating or flirting or worrying if any sort. I have friends who have divorced but a cheating husband featured in only 1 of the 4 marriage break ups.

Thank you all so much for your responses. Really puts things into perspective

Of course it is possible. I feel very fortunate to be in one of those marriages. My husband and I are very transparent with each other. Nothing is secret, phones left unlocked, share finances with each other etc. If we go away for work or with friends we just say have a good time and trust each other explicitly

Of course it’s possible. The best decision I ever made was to marry my husband, and I’m a better person because of him. He’s the kindest and best of men, has very strong moral values and he never, ever lies. I trust him absolutely. I trust his judgment more than mine; I panic in a crisis, but he’s a rock, calm and collected. I’ve been incredibly lucky.

It breaks my heart that you have even questioned if this is possible.

It’s not just possible it’s the bare minimum in a marriage. You should be able to trust your partner and have mutual respect and love as the basics of your relationship.

I would never think twice about my partner speaking to anyone of the opposite sex or ever think to look at his phone because I know how strong our bond is and we openly communicate about how we feel about each other including our respect and love for each other.

Yes my marriage is like this. I could snoop on his phone or laptop if I wanted but I know there’s no need and I wouldn’t find anything suspicious.

I am sorry if you’ve experienced anything different.

Well cant speak for anyone else but not for one second have I felt the need to spy or track my husband