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AIBU?

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Aunt checking with solicitor behind my back

57 replies

HangryBrickShark · 19/11/2025 13:40

Mum and Dad had a Will Trust drawn up in 2003.

My father died 2017.

Mum was asked to make a new Will as she had a lifetime interest in the house and as Dad was one of the trustees (mum was the other trustee along with two family friends - a couple she'dknown all her life who are my Godparents). The family friends both in their 80's wanted to cease being trustees as they were too old to cope with it so a deed was drawn up to cease them being Trustees.

I along with my partner (on Mums request as there was no other famiily to ask and my Mum thought a lot of my partner as we'vebeen together 25 yrs now) were both appointed as trustees along with my Mum. Previous Wills were null and void on the new Will being made on the death of the first spouse (my Dad).

Mum died earlier this year. Mum had given my Aunt (my Dad's sister) a copy of the old Will showing a number of beneficiares - mostly husband and wife couples who were friends of my parents. All the beneficiaries ceased upon Dads death under the terms of the trust as it all goes to me as absolute beneficiary. Now Mums died to I applied to the Solicitor for probate. Again I'm absolutely beneficiary. I did plan to gift money to some people in dads original Will although i'm under no obligation to with the terms of the new Will.

My Aunt has taken it upon herself to contact the solicitor acting on my behalf for the probate and winding up of the trust to see if they will speak to her alleging that I "haven't carried out my Dad's wishes in terms of paying out the beneficiares on the Will."

.Aunt is aware the beneficiaries that Dad appointed are no longer going to gain because the Will was amended in 2018 which I told her - I'd rang up the beneficiaries on the old Will to tell them about funeral arrangements and had told three of them they would be getting money once probate had finalised in a bit of a naughty effort to sway them to come to the funeral. Hold my hand up this was an error on my part as i hadn't realised at the time the new Will had superceded this old one.I get that my Aunt may have been confused about the Will and the Trust like i was but what stings is that she has gone behind my back by speaking to the Solicitor.

I had a call from Solicitor telling me Aunt had left two messages requesting a call back and gave my agreement Solicitor could discuss the file with her which she has done and will follow up the discussion with a letter at a cost of £150phr!

I can't shake the disappointment and sadness that my Aunt has caused me by not speaking to me about this. She mentioned one of the beneficiaries not receiving any money (a childhood friend of my Dads) and the only way she could have known this is if she'd have contacted him to find out if he had of received money.

I'm too upset to ring my Aunt to ask what the hell she was thinking of. She lives a 2hr round trip away from me, she is 99, does'nt have dementia although is quite depressed and lives on her own. Me, partner and Mum used to see her two or three times a year and Mum used to ring her regularly following Dads death. I ring her probably every month/five weeks and take her out for a meal on her bday and we have previously had her and my cousin round for Xmas a couple of times.

How should I tackle this going forward. Am I being reasonable to be upset or should I try and mend things.

I'm aware she's left me a considerable sum in her Will and quite honestly feel like telling her I don't want the money.

OP posts:
KaleidoscopeSmile · 19/11/2025 21:50

I don't understand how people who were beneficiaries in someone's will, stop being beneficiaries after they die because a new will is made. Presumably your aunt doesn't understand this either.

Gingernessy · 19/11/2025 22:21

HangryBrickShark · 19/11/2025 20:25

No I did not lie.

I said " I'd rang up the beneficiaries on the old Will to tell them about funeral arrangements and had told three of them they would be getting money once probate had finalised in a bit of a naughty effort to sway them to come to the funeral. Hold my hand up this was an error on my part as i hadn't realised at the time the new Will had superceded this old one."

I hadn't realised at the time the new Will had superseded the old one.

So do a deed of variation and vary the terms of the new will so they get what you told them they would.
Or are you just greedy?

LadeOde · 19/11/2025 22:26

pikkumyy77 · 19/11/2025 21:49

No thats not what happened.

What didn't happen?

olympicsrock · 19/11/2025 22:31

Honestly OP this sounds really stressful for you . But …
calm down dear! No need to fall out with your elderly aunt.

Jumpers4goalposts · 20/11/2025 18:08

Why don’t you just talk to your aunt about it?

independentfriend · 20/11/2025 18:29

I don't see that contacting the solicitor dealing with the probate is really going behind your back in the sneaky / underhand sense. She's gone to the person not emotionally involved and most likely to be able to answer her questions rather than the grieving person.

Vodka1 · 20/11/2025 21:13

When my grandad died everything went to my nan, she then redone the will they had to take out my grandads family - and left it all to my dad with verbal requests the grandchildren get x amount each. Her choice. I think that is what has happened here? Correct?

Your aunt is 99, this is not the time to be burning bridges. Old people can be like this and expect things a certain way.

I really wouldn't worry about it, ask her why she felt the need to do and let her have a vent/opinion/concern, reassure her & move on tbh.

I get the frustration but really at her age, it's just not worth holding a grudge or being bothered imo

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