Why do I let people affect me?

[Skittless]

Had a school event today. One of the mums I talked to made me feel quite on edge, I only spoke to her and 2 others and other 2 I was fine with but every conversation I have with her I come out of it upset and going over everything I said! I can’t avoid her as our kids are friends. I only spoke to her for 10 mins but it’s literally been in my mind all day. How can I stop this? I’m not good mentally and I’m usually okay but things like this seem to trigger me and I don’t want to start avoiding school events. Please help!

Sorry that you've had a difficult day because of it OP. You said "why do I let people affect me" whereas from your post it sounds like it's this particular woman who gets to you. What do you think it is about her or conversation with her? What thoughts does it kick off for you? Solidarity too, I also find school events hard sometimes for this reason - also feel I'm worse for this now I'm perimenopausal.

Is it this particular person? Or does this happen regularly with different people?
What advice would you give a friend if they told you what had happened?

She gives me strange looks if I say something, I personally don’t judge anyone but I feel she judges me.

Sometimes others too. I think it’s people with a strong “masculine” energy - I’m not sure how to explain what I mean.

It'd be helpful to know more about the situation, what the other woman is like and the other questions the other posters posted? I find that usually if a particular person is triggering me it's because it's triggering something unresolved in my own psyche - even if they are quite an objectively "mean" person, I only get triggered by certain types of mean people/people who tend to do/say certain types of mean things, but not by other types of "mean" comments. And something useful a therapist taught me is, call the incident to mind (seeing that woman and her saying things that were upsetting), ask yourself what you feel/felt like at that moment, and then ask yourself "when was the first time I felt this way?" Hopefully a memory will come up (or a few), usually from childhood, that is being triggered now by this woman. You can then work on processing and clearing this memory/set of memories so that you no longer get triggered as an adult, eg by journalling, going for a walk and thinking about it from an adults perspective (assuming it's a memory from childhood), talking it through with a trusted friend/therapist, or if it's a big/more stubborn trauma even clearing it with EMDR therapy, or inner child work