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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not speak to my team member who is spraying perfume in work bathroom?

228 replies

Fedupcolleague · 18/11/2025 17:40

I manage a small team, unfortunately there’s a couple of them who despite being grown adults always seem to find various child like gripes which they ask me to get involved in sorting.

The latest one is today. In one of my teams 1:1’s they said they have witnessed a named colleague spraying perfume in the air in the bathroom whenever they have been to the loo. They say they are uncomfortable raising this themselves and asked that I speak to them and make clear it was an anonymous comment to me.

I find this ridiculous and haven’t committed to mentioning it. Would I be unreasonable to tell her I won’t be saying anything?

OP posts:
Rosscameasdoody · 23/11/2025 10:22

Butchyrestingface · 19/11/2025 14:52

We don’t know whether she is mildly or severely affected. She said it was adversely affecting her lungs. OP can obviously asked for clarification.

i have a diagnosis of asthma. Someone perfume bombing public areas at work would definitely affect my lungs, though I suspect not enough to bring on an attack (I’d rather not test that theory).

But is this really the workplace people want? Where an employee indicates that a colleague is doing something completely unneccesary that adversely affects their health and the office jobsworth starts quibbling over the severity of the impact and whether it meets the requirements of the EA2010.

Theres no need to spraying perfume around the toilets so the issue is easily remedied.

There is no quibble here, and it’s not down to the office ‘jobsworth’ to interpret the Equality Act - the definition of disability is legally defined and protected.

My point is exactly the same as yours. It’s a simple fix - a notice in the toilets asking people not to do it. This is not the kind of thing the EA2010 was designed to deal with - hence the specific definition of disability, which most allergies do not fit, as they are often a reaction to something specific and not a disabling condition as such. Some life threatening anaphylactic reactions, such as to nuts etc, are covered by the Act because of their severity.

Some posters are saying that this woman should get medical evidence in order to have protection under the Act, when in actual fact no formal diagnosis is necessary - the condition itself and the effects on the person are what qualifies someone as disabled under the Act if they meet the legal definition.

LlynTegid · 23/11/2025 14:44

Sennelier1 · 20/11/2025 18:23

I would tell the complainer you're not her nanny and that she needs to be a big girl and ask her collegue friendly and politely not to spray perfume in the girls'room.

Agree that should be the first step.

Kpo58 · 23/11/2025 14:55

Spraying strongly scented sprays in an enclosed space is very antisocial.

I have ASD and I struggle with the strong synthetic smells in an enclosed space. It feels like I'm suffocating. I don't have asthma or allergies.

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