To cancel my trip last minute due to hand foot and mouth?

[Travelplansintoilet]

I think I know the answer to this one, but looking for a sense check from any awake mums as it’s stupid o’clock in the morning.

I’m due to get up in two hours’ time for a flight to Spain, going on a very rare solo trip to visit family I don’t see often.

My early night didn’t happen as DD(2) has been awake a lot crying that her feet hurt, has finally gone back to sleep with calpol. There’s tons of Hand Foot and Mouth at her nursery, we’ve had an email. She’s got it, hasn’t she? DH agreed with my first instinct that I now can’t go anywhere.

She and DS(5) are due to do a mixture of school/nursery and grandparents until Friday and I have never left them this long so already nervous. DH runs his own business, can’t take any time off last minute. They can’t go to elderly grandparents if the little one has HFM. Though they’ve seen them recently enough to already be infected. Obviously I can’t speak to them before my flight leaves.

AIBU to cancel my trip last minute, lose a couple hundred quid and disappoint family to stay behind with potentially ill kid(s)?

YABU - crack on with your holiday, life will go on without you and there will always be something
YANBU - of course you can’t go abroad when your toddler is miserable, the kids need you more

I don't know which way to advise (sorry) as she might be fine in the morning. Just something to consider though is whether you've had it. When DS had it, he was miserable for a day or two but bounced back fairly quickly but I went down with it a day after he did and had it much worse, I lost half my toenails from the blisters all over my feet (and hands and inside mouth) I was off work in bed for a week. Sorry to be the usual mn bringer of doom but I wouldn't have wanted to be that ill and away from home.

Hope your DD feels better soon and it all blows over x

That's a hard one as she might be completely fine in the morning. How much can't your DH really not take some time off if needed? I'd expect mine to really try and make it work if it is such a rare trip and a pretty mild childhood illness. Hope you find a solution!

Update, I didn’t go, I thought I would rather risk her being fine in the morning (annoyed) than her be ill and me be abroad (very guilty).

She has slept through and seems fine, now I am thinking I could have gone!!!

Can you book a new flight and go later today? Your DH should have done everything to encourage you to go earlier, he could have re-organised his work schedule. I bet if it was him going away, he'd have still gone.

Or re-arrange the trip in the next few weeks with your DH arranging things so he won't work while you are away.

Yes reading it back in the light of day (and not awake with a baby) I think your DH screwed you over a bit tbh. Your children have two parents! Really hope you can rearrange!

DH agreed with my first instinct that I now can’t go anywhere.

Of course he did, it makes his life way easier. Sorry you missed your trip. Your DH should have encouraged you to go. I bet he’d have still gone and left you to it.

I would be booking the next flight!! Your dh needs to step up more op.

I wonder if your husband would have done the same if the roles had been reversed?

My husband has a responsible job, but he would have insisted I go for my break and somehow managed to care for his own children.

DH would absolutely have gone if it was his trip, he recently went on a similar one but over a weekend.

Good news is DD seemed loads happier this morning, no spots or fever, huge appetite. I’m looking at flights to see what I can salvage.

Plot twist, found out my cousin’s child is ALSO ill, but HER husband is staying home with him until grandparents can take him so she doesn’t miss our trip(!). Third cousin is already out there.

Last update! I’m in Spain 🥳

But I am glad I didn’t leave not knowing if DD was ok. Thank you so much to everyone who made me feel like it wasn’t selfish to go on my trip, and that I could justify rebooking it…! DH was on board once I explained your POV.

Hey that’s great news! Well done for standing your ground and for getting on the plane. Have a fab time.

So glad you got there!