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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Parenting is so hard

2 replies

Undatisfied123 · 17/11/2025 21:35

Why is it so hard? I feel like everything I do is for my children.
I'm a single parent adhd provide everything. Make sure their diet is good, enough exercise, sleep etc and not too much screen time. They are deeply loved and have been shown so many great places.

However, they can't behave. My youngest DD 12 is in constant trouble in school. Showing off, loud, defiant, falls out with friends etc. I feel like I'm on a permanent call to the head of year. She is constantly in trouble and on report. I speak to her and try and give her strategies, punish her but nothing works.

My eldest DD 14 is good in school but the minute things aren't right at home she calls me an idiot and I hate you etc. It just slips off her tongue so easily. I speak to her but again nothing changes.

They are just so impulsive. What can I do to make this better. I'm feeling so down and like such a useless parent! It is just so hard. Also not helped that I'm doing it on my own but I don't know what else I can do!

OP posts:
Endofyear · 17/11/2025 22:50

Oh OP don't beat yourself up - you're not doing anything wrong! Teenagers are inherently selfish and it's not because of anything you do - it's just the way they are. They are flooded with hormones which causes the mood swings, the self-involvement etc they do come out the other side and become nice again eventually!

I would say pick your battles, try and stay calm and walk away when you're angry and cool off. Don't sweat the small stuff like messy rooms or hormonal moodiness, prioritise having a good relationship with them above always being right (teenagers think they know everything anyway!)

Your kids are old enough that you can start to have a life of your own too - try and make time to get together with friends, have a glass of wine and have a good old moan and a laugh. You deserve to have a break and it will be good for your DDs to see that you have a life and it doesn't always revolve around them!

Gair · 17/11/2025 23:01

You said you have adhd and that your daughters are impulsive. It's very possible that they have adhd too. Have they been properly assessed for it? Even the best diet won't control adhd, they might benefit from the very effective medication available to control symptoms though.

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