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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Scarcity Complex.

3 replies

dms1 · 17/11/2025 20:06

I love my husband dearly, but AIBU to be a bit pssed off? When he was growing up his mum died when he was young, and his dad had given up work to look after her when she was terminal. Consequently He grew up living hand to mouth. He never feels we have enough to live on (we do, and we have savings in ISAs). He frets we can’t afford our home (modest chalet bungalow which we can afford). And he is always bringing home sachets of salt/ketchup/sugar that he swipes from cafés when he’s out for coffee. He grumbles about the cost of living & is on Money Saving Expert daily. I’m not excessive in my spending. Anyway, it’s winter and he doesn’t have the heating on during the day. He WFH & just wears extra jumpers etc. I work for the NHS in the community, and today I was freezing. I had loads of calls, in and out of houses, and I would so love to come home to a warm house after a day’s work. My hands were shivering while I was eating my dinner & in the end I had a hot shower to get some heat into me. He puts the heating on when I come home, but It takes a while to warm the house up. I’ve often suggested counselling which he won’t entertain. I am just so fed up with it today, and I want to call him a tight fcker, even though I know what has given rise to his behaviour.

OP posts:
MatchaMatchaMatcha · 18/11/2025 04:11

Of all these behaviours, is it just the heating one which is a problem? In which case I'd set the thermostat to a heat schedule that suits you, which means you can come home to a warm house daily.

Yamamm · 18/11/2025 05:47

Tell him that a cold house is bad for the fabric of the building. It needs to be kept reasonably warm to drive away damp and avoid costly future bills.

Loubelou71 · 18/11/2025 06:59

I WFH and I don't put the heating on during the day just for me but I make sure it's on when family are coming home. So that isn't unusual but I can understand as a whole it gets you down.

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