Hi everyone,
I’m really struggling and I’m hoping someone out there has been through something similar or has some idea of what I can do next.
I absolutely love my daughter, but I’m at the point where I hate the behaviour I’m dealing with every single day. She has severe school avoidance. She insists she “hates school,” but whenever I try to get to the bottom of why! bullying, struggles with work, friendship issues, anything…,she can’t give me anything concrete. It’s just “I don’t want to go.”
She’s also become incredibly manipulative when faced with boundaries or consequences. If I set a punishment or say “no,” she’ll tell me she’ll hurt herself, or that she’ll just run off and not come home. I take all of that seriously, because how can I not? But it leaves me with no way to enforce anything and I feel completely powerless.
I’ve asked CAMHS for support, but I was basically told it isn’t “serious enough.” She’s close to an ADHD diagnosis and does get some support at school, but we were turned down for an EHCP. And the only parenting support offered in my area is the Triple P teen course, which runs at 11 a.m. on Thursdays when I’m at work full-time and can’t possibly attend.
I feel like I’m screaming into the void. I’m trying so hard to be patient and understanding, but I’m exhausted and scared and unsure of what to do. How do you help a teen who refuses help? How do you set boundaries when the consequences trigger threats you can’t ignore? How do you keep life functioning around work, school, and everything else when you’re walking on eggshells all the time?
If anyone has been through something like this, or has advice on what steps I can take next, I’d be so grateful. I feel so alone with this.
Thank you for reading.