Lads trips

[Spacemoonpf]

Hi all. Is it normal for husband to go on lads trips - mostly football trips when eg there’s World Cup or European holiday. I’m also thinking of going on girls trip.
we go on family and couples holidays together too. Initially I was uncomfortable and he said I can come along and we book our own hotel room.

Am I being unreasonable it shouldn’t be a common occurrence though?

I would really love to leave not sure why I can’t- and it’s not because of kids or finances- just not sure I can 😒

Of course you can. You're choosing not to for some reason.

Things I find utterly baffling:

• Being in a relationship where going away with my friends was an issue, or where I'd have an issue with him going away with his friends
• Only being friends with people of our own gender and only having "lads' trips" and "girls' trips" - I would see this as a red flag in anyone I was dating, and in this case I would be right
• Staying with a man who cheated on me

Maybe work on your self respect

Why would you ever trust him again? It would be madness to think he will be any different this time. It would be a solid no from me, but then I wouldn’t be in this relationship at all after infidelity for this reason. You can’t trust him, you are right not to.

I’d probably struggle to trust him too. I think there are two different kinds of lads trips, one involves a group of friends having a great time together and the other has a culture of “lads, lads, lads” and “what happens on tour stays on tour”.

The culture is set by the group, so if he’s going with the same group of people, and has made no effort to change, it would be a red flag for me too.

Do you think he’s actually open to the idea of you going, or is he just saying that because he thinks it’ll persuade you to be okay with him going?

Yes my partner goes on a golf holiday and to a festival with his friends every year.
I do girls trips etc

When my husband and his friends go away, they arrange an activity that reminds them they’re all mid aged with bad knees, have a few beers and fall asleep by 10:30. I’m more than happy to let him go.

It sounds like the problems in your relationship are more of a concern than any trip.

Of course you can 🙄

My two lines are that it can’t use up so much annual leave allowance that it stops us doing holidays together, and it can’t significantly eat into finances - e.g. we’ve got upcoming building work and are both trying to save x amount a month so we’ve got a buffer. We both have our own money we keep from wages beyond this that we can spend how we want respectively.

DP goes clubbing in Ibiza every year. That would be my holiday from hell. But he loves it. Occasionally I and some of the other girlfriends / wives have joined the. after a week where we chill out for a few days. The guys recover and we have some great food.