Charity shop gifts

[Gentlydoesit2]

I love buying gifts for people, and try to make them as meaningful as possible, picking things I think the recipient will enjoy or make use of.
SIL has started buying gifts for my children from charity shops. I hate it.
Don't get me wrong, we pick bits and bobs up for our own children from charity shops and when my youngest in particular was born, she had a lot of clothes and toys from a children's charity shop. My issue is with buying gifts for people from there especially if they are in a used condition.
As an example... Eldest was gifted a teddy that had been fixed (badly) where it had a split seam, a boardgame with dogeared corners and the best....a crinkly toy for our NEWBORN that on inspection of the label turned out to be a dog toy!! 😷🤢
SIL is not broke but frugal, eco warrior type obviously trying to save the world by shopping other people's cast offs.

IN SUMMARY it's not charity shops I have an issue with, it's buying "gifts" from there, especially for children.

Yeah it most likely is. I do live in one if the poorest places in the UK, I swear I don’t have a problem with pre-loved if it’s in good condition and easy to clean! But also, not as a gift unless I know them very well and know that they would appreciate where it was bought.

I bought my future DIL a gorgeous item from a charity shop - but only after checking with DS that she would not be offended by its second-hand status. It was in pristine condition - just tarnished on the outside, and worked perfectly with her style - so I polished it up and she LOVED it.
I also alerted DS when another item appeared in our local one that I knew she would love, and secured that for her, again, cleaning it up so it was pristine.
Both items were antiques, at a price that was at most 1/10th of their actual worth, and are some of her most treasured belongings, along with a beautiful beaded Edwardian purse with silver clasp that I’d bought in a vintage shop on the Kings Road in the late 1970’s and which no longer worked for me because of my age and size!
If you have an eye for beautiful items and a knack for identifying what someone will like, it’s a great way to get presents that are worth far more than you’ve paid, or would be able to afford.
However, it sounds as if your SIL isn’t very good at choosing/has lower standards than you, so she should definitely stop!

@Notsurewhatisnormalanymore , I look for clothes with the tags still on them. They're rare finds but if you find one, you can set it aside. Examples I had was a pretty jumper with tags for £5 in the summer, and new with tags t-shirts from a high street brand (rrp £25+) for £2, and I gave them as Christmas presents.
There's a town near me that's a bit rough and a charity shop there often has new books and stationery from The Works and Amazon for 50p.

Thankyou, I'm glad I'm not the only one

It sounds like you've put a lot of thought and effort in to those gifts and subs like they were appreciated.. Sadly the same does not apply to SIL!!

I’d never buy anyone a gift from a charity shop, but it seems I’m in the minority!
The smell of the places knocks me a little sick, I have to be honest.

That would be a good idea if she was tolerable 🤣

My sister is like this but I've no problem with it because she lives her eco values in every aspect of her life. She's vegan, she buys nothing new, she doesn't use air travel, cycles everywhere. I think it's admirable she has such strong convictions and it's a good example for my child. If this is who your SIL is then I think you have to accept it.

Nothing wrong with a well thought out, good quality gift that happens to be second hand. The behaviour you describe is very thoughtless though. How do you think she'd react to the "let's not do gifts this year" talk?

Just suggest that you don’t do gifts this year. The kids get so much anyway etc.

💯

Good idea...I've already bought her kids some really thoughtful presents though 😂

Agreed!!!

Absolutely. Second hand stuffed toys are a total no for me

I’d hate it too. I hate the smell of charity shops and buying something second hand at the givers choice is a crap gift- I’d much rather have nothing

I buy things for myself from charity shops and occasionally for my daughter in the past, but I wouldn’t dream of buying anything as a present for anyone else.

I know I'm actually so surprised at the amount of love for charity shop gifting... Maybe I've just never been to a nice charity shop 😂

Amen! 🙌🏼

Same here! I actually think it just shows how little you care for that person

Happily, the two in our town are very good! I’ve bought lots of stuff for family…not gifts exactly, but if I see a sweater eg my sister would like, I’d buy it…dvd’s, books/clothes for the kids when they were young eg shorts/t-shirts for holidays. I wear a LOT of charity shop clothes/scarves/jewellery. We call it ‘Tuva’s boutique’

I’ve just been through my gift list app of what I’ve bought so far and counted 43 that are from charity shops and they are all things that the recipients including my child, partner, parents, partners mum, partners grandma, friend and friends child will like so I don’t think it should matter at all where the gifts come from as long as they are thoughtful/suited to the recipient and clean and not broken 🤷‍♀️

You are joking. I give lovely things and nobody complains.
I'm very careful what I buy, and know the recipients well.
I get comments like "Everybody has complimented me on my new coat".