To ignore neighbours noise complaints about my toddler?

[TooTiredMum2]

My flat is very noisy, I can hear everything that’s going on upstairs, and unfortunately it’s the same for my downstairs neighbour. I have a 14-month old toddler and my downstairs neighbours keep complaining that it is too loud. I don’t let him bang the floor or do anything unreasonable, but he’s a toddler and merely him walking/toddling around is too noisy. I have put down foam mats but obviously downstairs still hears him crawling, toddling, falling occasionally, and playing with his toys. I’m getting more and more stressed out about this but I don’t think there’s anything I can do?

Tell them you do understand as you have the same issue with noise from upstairs. But there's not much you can do beyond putting down mats which you have. You could suggest they get some sound proofing measures on their ceiling. That it's nobody's fault the building is so shoddy that our normal day to day movements can be heard in other flats.

YANBU

Sometimes there's just nothing more you can do.

My friend has the same problem living in a newbuild flat with sound-proofing that's so poor, she can literally hear the lady next door clearing her throat.

The complaints from downstairs were really getting to her at one point, and her poor child started to become nervous.

So she had to relax and just tell her neighbour she was doing all she could, but that's life in a new build apartment block.

I agree with pp - suggest they get some sound proofing.

I lived in a flat like this, it wasn't fit for purpose. After changing the rooms we used, white noise, noise cancelling headphones we just moved house.
It was destroying my mental health being on edge every second for the next loud impact noise.

Is there a landlord or building management company? Complain that the building isn't suitable for being flats. If there's only wood between each level and not solid concrete, is it a fire hazard?

Please don't ignore it, as there may be other things you can do before assuming that either it can't be helped, or neighbour is BU. I'm assuming you have no hard floors, as carpeting floors is the most basic and simple way of reducing noise transmission between flats. Many flats have carpets stipulated in the lease for this reason. If not, look into carpets and increase the rugs you have. A toddler rolling toy cars on a hard floor could make a lot of quite irritating repetitive noise, which a carpet or short pile rug would deaden.

Have you been into their flat to have a listen? Perhaps you could do this while someone else plays with your toddler upstairs, so you can try to identify the things which are causing most trouble. Fixing a specific noise or pattern is easier to achieve than just "keeping the noise down". Show them you're trying to work with them to improve the situation. That doesn't mean just doing whatever they ask - but it does mean continuing to try rather than assuming it's impossible/unreasonable.

If the noise is very early or late your neighbor probably has a point. If your toddler has a normal bedtime routine not unacceptable. I say this because my neighbours sleep all day with their 2.5 year old, then from 8 pm until gone midnight the kid is jumping off furniture, playing with a ball and screeching her head off inside. 3 sets of neighbours having their peaceful enjoyment of property destroyed by ignorant and frankly neglectful parents.

Please don't ignore it, as there may be other things you can do before assuming that either it can't be helped, or neighbour is BU. I'm assuming you have no hard floors, as carpeting floors is the most basic and simple way of reducing noise transmission between flats. Many flats have carpets stipulated in the lease for this reason. If not, look into carpets and increase the rugs you have. A toddler rolling toy cars on a hard floor could make a lot of quite irritating repetitive noise, which a carpet or short pile rug would deaden.

I agree with this, have you got carpets? If not can you invest in them with the thickest underlay you can. Whilst you do not want to live in constant anxiety of making noise I would go as far as I could to alleviate any excessive noise as you all need to live there harmoniously. Beyond this if they are still complaining then you will know there is nothing more you can do.

Have you got a carpet? Thick underlay can make a difference.

Some rooms have carpets, for those that don’t I got foam mats which I assume provide even better padding than carpets. But I think nothing stops the noise of toddler falling on his bump when trying to walk or dropping a toy he’s carrying.
The noise is never late at night because his bedtime is 7pm. He’s also in nursery, the issue seems to be mornings when we get ready, late afternoons and weekends.

I don't see what else you CAN do really. The construction of the flats isn't something you can change, you've done your best to add padding to the floors. I'd sympathise, say you had the same issues and leave it at that.