Neighbour and fence - help

[Thunderpants88]

My OH and I are in a disagreement about a fence.

Our neighbours moved in next door and have gone out of their way to ignore everyone else on the estate. Fine. Don’t even wave or acknowledge small children that say hi.

We have detached houses. A few months ago they took down all their hedges and trees (it is their right to do so) After the last storm the fence has come down on both sides of their property, the garden fence between our houses and the fence between their house and the neighbour on the other side.

I have asked the bank for the deeds of the house.

A while ago the neighbour (who has literally never spoken to us ever) came round asking to go 50/50 on the fence.

I am of the opinion no. If it is their fence then they pay. If it is our fence we will pay.

My husband thinks go halfers either way. I just don’t want to. If it was the same situation with my lovely neighbour on the other side I would but it’s annoying me that the first time they have ever spoken to us is to ask for money. My DH says “for a few hundred pounds be neighbourly” I think “they can’t even bother to wave at our 2 year old getting in a car. No I don’t feel like being out £100’s to “be nice” unless I have to. I also pointed out if it is our fence I would dream of going round and asking them for help the money. Our fence? Our problem to fix.

what does everyone else think?

In our case, we ‘own’ the fence to the left of our property as you look at the front of the house.

If its their fence, they have no obligation to replace it. You have a 2 year old. What happens if your child wanders into their garden, if access to front and onto the road. Not their problem it your child. Obviously hypothetical. Similar convo wirh hubby over our neighbours fence but our dog and road.

Our fences are 50/50 per the deeds and it is a total PITA. When ours blew down each side wanted to use their own fence guy, so we ended up having to liaise with both neighbours and pay half of each. Would have been way easier to sort and pay for one side.

Yanbu about the fence.

yabu to think your children have the right to be acknowledged even if they are miserable neighbours.

You can coo ok me at this situation from two directions: the legal, and the pragmatic.

In terms of the legalities, the first thing to do is determine - as a matter of fact - which party has responsibility for the fence. If yours, you pay for the repairs / replacement, if theirs, the neighbors do.

However, one must be aware that one can be “right”, yet nevertheless perceived as a “hole”. In terms of fostering a good relationship with this neighbor, it may be more fitting to acquiesce to their request, and that you pay (and choose the new fence/repairs) collectively.

I am assuming that such and informal agreement cannot set up covenants, but then again Alfred Denning did rather like to stir the pot.

The legal position is that only the original Coventor is obliged to carry out any fencing requirements.aftet that it is down to whoever wants a fence. It is always a good idea to clear mark the boundary of your property as boundaries as they can and do change with time. The only time you are legally obliged to fence your property is when you are keeping livestock, Animals act 1971. If you pay for a fence and it is on your land then it is your fence.

I would be inclined to politely decline, given the background.

There may well not be ownership marks on the deeds, so then what do you do? If they have pets, they need to contain them. Equally, you want your dc safe/not able to access the neighbour’s garden.

We recently replaced a couple of posts/panels, was nearly a grand.

Not sure if anyone has asked but do you want a fence?

By that i mean, they are a family of 4 adults and maybe they dont care about having a fence. If they called your bluff, removed the fence and just got on with things for the time being, would that cause you issues considering you have a small child etc?

I dont buy into theirs and your fences. They are dividers between two properties and rely hugely on agreement from two parties. If one doesnt care about having a good fence they are under zero obligation to have one.

Personally i think your DH is being the reasonable party here, keeping the peace and ensuring a future with a fence between the houses that seems to be required tbh.

Pay half and be the bigger person. Next time you need something from them at least you will be coming at it with no grudge to bear.

This is why ownership of the boundary is marked on the plans, if its their fence, they should pay (assuming you're in england).

This!!
Im stunned at how many people would rather argue and check legalities than just come to an agreement with their neighbor and share responsibility for boundaries / fencing.

If they are not very nice people, I would no want to be involved - and if it was my fence, I would not want them to be involved with them at all.

Just had similar with my mums. Neighbour has been calling and calling me about a fence as we weren’t sure whose it was originally. Husband gave away at the weekend to a colleague of mine that it’s theirs and they know it’s theirs they are just being CF, she’s not happy this afternoon…. Apparently as it’s my mum, she can afford to do it. We repaired it last time so she should consider herself lucky she got away with that once, but not again!

Yes I agree, this has happened to us

I would take a step back and look at the situation calmly:

1. Do not dwell on the fact that they ignore you. You never know what they might be going through; they could simply be shy. Everyone is different.
2. Stay pleasant and polite, even if they seem a little rude. Avoid creating tension or laying the groundwork for conflict with your neighbours. There is nothing worse than living next to someone you dislike or who makes life difficult.
3. Think about whether the missing fence really upsets you. First, check that the fence is definitely their responsibility. This could also be an opportunity to suggest a style you like, something attractive such as a Jacksons panel rather than standard panels. Offering to share the cost might help build a better relationship. If you can afford it, it could be worth it in the long run.

I have a detached house on the end. I have paid to renew the fence on one side which is not shared. All good. The fence which divides my house from the NDN is the issue. When I first moved in I rented the house (later bought it) and the NDN told me it was hers. She whinged because I did a photo shoot and pinned up a cotton sheet against it to use as backdrop. I found somewhere else to do the shoot. Later when the fence was falling apart she asked me if I would go halves. I told her NO because I had already paid for one fencing run for which I was responsible. I reminded her how she had whinged at me for using HER fence and thus it was her responsibility to replace it. I was not going to help. She got in a bunch of cowboys who used recycled panels and it ended up looking like something from the third world. I would not have contributed to such a mess anyway even had I agreed. Eventually I had my gardener put up a new higher fencing run afew inches in on MY side so I would not have to look at her eyesore. I dont care about being neighbourly with this NDN.

Is the boundary now open between your 2 houses? How do you keep your 4 young children from wandering into their garden space?

No deeds don't always tell you – been there, done that.

I think the other factor to consider is whether they are asking for half the cost or a contribution and then who gets to chose the fence and the installer.
My neighbour put up a fence which frankly I'm not a big fan of the style. If she'd asked me to contribute then Id have paid for something I dont like

It's important you know whose border is whose to maintain and who owns each border, and fences are usually the way you know. I think you're right and you should let them know when you get the info from your bank.

If you pay to replace what is currently their fence, it will then become partly your fence and you will be partly responsible for it in future too.

This is not true. If it is the neighbour's fence and the OP pays to replace it, it is still the neighbour's fence. She is buying them a fence. She will not partly own any of it and is not responsible for it.

It is the same as if she bought them a front door. She would not partly own the front door or be responsible for it.

Your situation is different because you own it 50/50.

Because in the real world not all neighbours are nice, approachable or reasonable.

It is better to check the legal position and act solely on that, for clarity. Deal with the practicalities only.

The OP's dislike of her neighbour's attitude should be kept out of her decision.

Or,, You put up the fence making it yours... and... ask them to go halves.

Just a thought !!!