How to find spice in life again

wherelifeis · 2025-11-16T13:22:03+00:00

Have you ever just realised you were living a flat, dull quite meh existence and did you manage to break out of it? please tell me what you did. I'm feeling very flat and low - am probably quite depressed. But I know that is from my life which is really quite sad and flat. I am existing day to day, going to work. I seem to take no joy in things anymore, find it very hard to connect with the friends I have. We just seem to be in different places. I have no partner or kids and just feel very sad. I'd love to enjoy life again and have something to look forward to.

gingerperil · 16/11/2025 13:39

What do you enjoy doing? Start small and focus on small things that give you joy… a hot cup of great coffee, a book or a walk in nature…or whatever you most enjoy.. a small treat each day.. and maybe something bigger each month? A nice afternoon out to somewhere you fancy? I find having something nice to look forward to really helps

Glitterybee · 16/11/2025 13:41

Hmmmm no advice OP but I will be following here for tips

Im in a similar position

I don’t think I’m depressed. I don’t think I’ve ever suffered from mental health, but I’m maybe wrong - I feel really flat and I don’t feel any joy in anything. I just go through the motions

work, house chores, groceries, cooking, cleaning, look after kids, ensure I hit my 10k steps, shower, brush teeth, repeat

I never do anything that brings me joy and when I do something that should be fun/exciting I don’t feel anything different.

For example, went to a concert recently that was nearly a year in planning. Lots of contact with friends leading up to it to say how excited I was, how I couldn’t wait, etc and then after the event to say how ‘amazing’ it was. But the reality is I was definitely just going through the motions.

Yes it was a great concert but I didn’t feel anything different - definitely no joy or excitement when I was there.

Does that sound similar to you OP?

Another example is Christmas…. I’m known in my family for being the person who gets over excited for Christmas. I start planning from August, etc. and I tell everyone ‘oh I’m so excited’ but if I’m being honest with myself I feel no joy or excitement. I’m just thinking of the millions of things I’ve to do between now and then!

I always find Christmas Day flat too. It’s not exciting and perfect like on the tv. And then Boxing Day I always end up feeling ill/rundown and stay in my pjs all day. It’s like the build up hits me over the head and I crash!

EveryKneeShallBow · 16/11/2025 13:56

This is going to sound a bit “poor me”, but it’s just fo context. I was recently diagnosed with a terminal illness. It will kill me, but not soon.

What would you do tomorrow if you had a similar diagnosis today? What would you change, who would you make an effort to go and see?

I hop you might find this helpful. Otherwise apologies for the derail.

Renamedyetagain · 16/11/2025 14:14

I felt the same. For me, it has been music, and yes, concerts. But I get very moved by certain songs.

I had tears down my face and felt relieved I was feeling again

It has been a bit of a Renaissance since. Dressing up, flirting, starting new hobbies, writing, being bolder, speaking up at work, doing more socially.

My husband is a bit floored tbh.

Original poster

wherelifeis · 16/11/2025 16:48

Glitterybee · 16/11/2025 13:41

Hmmmm no advice OP but I will be following here for tips

Im in a similar position

I don’t think I’m depressed. I don’t think I’ve ever suffered from mental health, but I’m maybe wrong - I feel really flat and I don’t feel any joy in anything. I just go through the motions

work, house chores, groceries, cooking, cleaning, look after kids, ensure I hit my 10k steps, shower, brush teeth, repeat

I never do anything that brings me joy and when I do something that should be fun/exciting I don’t feel anything different.

For example, went to a concert recently that was nearly a year in planning. Lots of contact with friends leading up to it to say how excited I was, how I couldn’t wait, etc and then after the event to say how ‘amazing’ it was. But the reality is I was definitely just going through the motions.

Yes it was a great concert but I didn’t feel anything different - definitely no joy or excitement when I was there.

Does that sound similar to you OP?

Another example is Christmas…. I’m known in my family for being the person who gets over excited for Christmas. I start planning from August, etc. and I tell everyone ‘oh I’m so excited’ but if I’m being honest with myself I feel no joy or excitement. I’m just thinking of the millions of things I’ve to do between now and then!

I always find Christmas Day flat too. It’s not exciting and perfect like on the tv. And then Boxing Day I always end up feeling ill/rundown and stay in my pjs all day. It’s like the build up hits me over the head and I crash!

Yes this is me. I go out most days but it’s just going through the motions. I go out for a walk and have a cup of coffee outside but it’s really just so I’ve had something to do.

I feel incredibly trapped in my life and I don’t know how to change it.

I think for me I have no meaningful relationships and I no longer know how to find or develop them and im not even sure i have the energy too.

I work from home and I cant see that changing.

anytime I do go out, I feel pretty sad but I am very lonely I think.

OP posts:

whatsnewpussycat34 · 16/11/2025 16:54

Glitterybee · 16/11/2025 13:41

Hmmmm no advice OP but I will be following here for tips

Im in a similar position

I don’t think I’m depressed. I don’t think I’ve ever suffered from mental health, but I’m maybe wrong - I feel really flat and I don’t feel any joy in anything. I just go through the motions

work, house chores, groceries, cooking, cleaning, look after kids, ensure I hit my 10k steps, shower, brush teeth, repeat

I never do anything that brings me joy and when I do something that should be fun/exciting I don’t feel anything different.

For example, went to a concert recently that was nearly a year in planning. Lots of contact with friends leading up to it to say how excited I was, how I couldn’t wait, etc and then after the event to say how ‘amazing’ it was. But the reality is I was definitely just going through the motions.

Yes it was a great concert but I didn’t feel anything different - definitely no joy or excitement when I was there.

Does that sound similar to you OP?

Another example is Christmas…. I’m known in my family for being the person who gets over excited for Christmas. I start planning from August, etc. and I tell everyone ‘oh I’m so excited’ but if I’m being honest with myself I feel no joy or excitement. I’m just thinking of the millions of things I’ve to do between now and then!

I always find Christmas Day flat too. It’s not exciting and perfect like on the tv. And then Boxing Day I always end up feeling ill/rundown and stay in my pjs all day. It’s like the build up hits me over the head and I crash!

Are you me? This is exactly how I am.

Whereismyfleeceblanket · 16/11/2025 16:55

New hobby?
Just got back into knitting after 30 years!!. Local hospitals near me give new parents a hat and baby coat as a going home gift..
Gardening is ime a massive mood lifter. Not too late to do a winter /festive basket... Or a wreath!

Lamonstera · 16/11/2025 17:06

Those of you who feel this way - I bet it’s burnout.

When I was burned out, I felt like this. Fun things were just another job to get through.
Given the choice, I would have much rather done nothing at all.

If you spend a lot of time on your own OP ai really suggest getting out there and mixing with people. It can feel like an effort, but it gets better with time and helps to bring a bit more interest and energy into your daily experience. Try volunteering. Positivity from other people is good for the soul.