Insomnia can fuck off

[Tdcp]

I know I'm not being unreasonable, I'm just hoping someone else is awake.

My 7 month old has had a nightmarish sleep regression for the last month. I've barely slept. She's ebf so I do 100% night wake ups, I have done since birth. I do 99% of the day time stuff as well. I'm EXHAUSTED. I've been walking around in a sleep haze all day and been ratty with my 11 year old and dp..

I went to bed at 10:30, a decent hour for me and I can't sleep, at all. I've been tossing and turning, doing breathing exercises etc etc etc and nothing and to make it 5000 x worse, dd is sleeping through, she hasn't woken up once and dp ofc has been sound asleep for hours. I'm downstairs now, I quit but my god I could cry so hard right now.

I've had insomnia since I was a teenager. Still haven't discovered anything that works really. I'm a reader so always read if sleep isnt coming. Though lying with eyes closed just resting is better than nothing. Insomnia with a little baby is fucking hard, hopefully it gets better for you soon

Poor you. I hope you got some rest. Insomnia is debilitating, I've had it for about 35 years! I'm on anti depressants which won't work for everyone and sadly don't work every night but they tend to stop me waking in the night which was the worst thing for me as I struggled to get back to sleep (obviously wth OH snoring next to me). OH tells me to have a nap if I'm tired, my reply is "if I can't sleep at night, how the fuck am I supposed to sleep during the day?!" My 1 tip is don't look at the clock if you're awake. For me, I'm just then worrying about how long I've been awake & how long before the alarm goes off

(((Hugs))

Ive had insomina since I was a kid. Used to drag myself to school on a hours sleep regularly.
Now I just follow my sleep pattern, i tend to fall asleep early around 8/9pm and wake up around 3-4am. I function a lot better since doing this.

Your husband should be all hands on deck to give you a relaxing day. I'd say it's getting to the point of danger for you to solo care for a baby when you're functioning on zero sleep and driving with no sleep is as bad as driving drunk.

By this point your nervous system has got you to a state of hypervigilance because your body is so under stress/burnt out that your sleep pathway / relaxation pathway is too disrupted to function properly, and this insomnia is the outcome. Make sure your husband is aware of this and that noone thinks it's your fault you couldn't sleep.

It feels nigh on impossible with a baby but you need to have your well slept partner do whatever he can to let your nervous system calm down and that means periods of rest for you so your parasympathetic nervous system has a chance of functioning effectively again and so you can get out of this hypervigilant state.

What can help is low dose melatonin and low dose valerian, omega oils, magnesium and d3 before bed because that has a nice relaxing effect that will target the parasympathetic and support it quite well. And daily exercise (light cardio and lots of stretching). But the most important thing is relaxation (yes I know v hard with a baby and a small child ) to stop the body getting hyper vigilant.

Ugh, so sorry you're experiencing this OP. Sleep deprivation is used as torture for a reason.

It's so hard to get to sleep when you feel under pressure to do so, e.g. knowing you have to get up and "perform" again soon and that you will need your wits about you. I can relate for different reasons (work pressure!).

For me, I'll go to bed after an intense day of work and I'm still doing it behind closed eyelids, composing responses to queries etc.

What I have found works really well is a technique used by the military to get to sleep in a stressful combat scenario. Breathe in THROUGH THE NOSE for a count of four, exhale THROUGH THE MOUTH for a count of 8. Try to clear your head, i.e. whenever you start thinking about something, nudge yourself to quiet your mind. (Mentally focusing on a spot "inside" the middle of your forehead can help.) When exhaling, relax any tension in your body.

Repeat as necessary. I sometimes get to the 10th or 15th cycle and am about to give up, then wake up next morning refreshed!

Good luck 💗

I hope you managed to get some sleep.

I'm really glad I saw your post, my autistic dd absolutely loves sleep masks and loves listening to things as she falls asleep.... I didn't know Bluetooth sleep masks existed!

I hope you all managed to sleep at some point. I ended up asleep by 5:30 and then up with the baby by 7.

Dd and dp went out all morning which was fine, I found it easier without feeling bad about them not going out especially after the weather being so bad lately.

Currently I'm bed with the baby, I still can't sleep but vegging on the phone is still helping.

I haven't had a lie in since the baby was born, I'm going to kick dp as soon as she wakes up next weekend and he can do the 6:30 ish to 11 shift ...

Also thank you for all the tips! I usually do the military thing of relaxing a body part one at a time which works but last night my brain would not shut off. I'm hoping it's a blip as I can go through these phases for months at a time. Got a fair few new things to try now though!

I had this when my first was a similar age. The book the Effortless Sleep Method by Sasha Stephens I saw recommended on Mumsnet and really helped me. The key for me to drift off is to be able to think about something or listen to something that is interesting but not personal. So an audiobook or radio programme/podcast. Or I would think about the plot of a TV show or series and all the different characters and their storylines. The main thing was not worrying about not being able to go to sleep as the book explains this is the root cause of insomnia. Stop worrying about it, get into a position where you can drift off and focus on something else.

That breathing pattern - in through the nose for 4, out through the mouth for 8 counts - seems to work wonders. Somehow it's supposed to activate the parasympathetic nervous system and calm the body/mind.

There's a version where you hold your breath for 7 counts before exhaling, but the 4-8 seems to work for me!

health.clevelandclinic.org/4-7-8-breathing

Really horrible and I know the feeling well. It’s not the same but when on holiday in a luxury hotel and separate rooms due to snoring it so frustrating that I cannot sleep. After spending all that money! Tried everything and in the end take sleeping pills! Before then I could even end up staying awake all night.

It will pass