There have been times where people have asked me personal questions and I can't find the right words to say. The truth is I don't always want to answer their questions but when being asked a direct question by someone I find it extremely difficult to say "I don't feel comfortable answering that" which actually sounds like I'm hiding something. Truth is I'm a very private person and I fear judgement.
I live my life 50% carefree and 50% hyper aware of everything and everyone and super sensitive.
I will give you an example of how I find myself in an awkward moment where I am asked a question:
I will go about my day as normal. There will be someone who I tolerate and am very nice to, but inside I don't particularly like them. My trains for this example are that I notice how they pick out student nurses for tedious tasks that they should be doing by themselves. They have been caught doing this and have been 'shut down' by senior staff when asking a certain student to help her do something tedious, and they told her she was busy.
Anyway, I tolerate her but don't particularly like how she works for this reason.
She caught me off guard and asked me outright how old I am. I felt somewhat taken back and didn't want to tell her. I felt as though my privacy was being invaded. I made up something roughly around my age.
She then asked how old my kids were.
Why didn't I just tell her I wasn't happy answering her questions? The answer is because I feared coming across as rude.
Another example, there is a person who I have worked with, is a bit of a strange character. Extremely shy and sensitive on the outside. Always taking huge offence to things people say and apparently do and disappearing frequently mid meeting because something was said that triggered something for them. Having spent moments with them chatting after work, I have seen them switch from this shy persona to suddenly being utterly aggressive and shouting at passers by who may have bumped into them by accident as they were walking by.
I have seen them under another light when they brought up a story about a colleague who was new and had made a mistake and seemed to take delight at their failings. I have also noticed that they take pleasure in attempting to have one-upmanship on people. All of this, for me, has cast this colleague under a certain light and I am now very wary of them but very polite when interacting with them.
They have ignored me out in public, as that's part of their odd behaviour, and then the next they try and make conversation with me, which baffles me. This sounds ridiculous me saying this but one time we travelled for a meeting to a remote place. On my way there in the early morning, someone sped walked past me and only after they had fully passed did I realise it was them. They passed by without saying hello or even acknowledging me. I wasn't entirely surprised as again, this is part of their odd behaviour.
Anyone with eyes would have known they would have passed me as my coat is unique and bright. So they definitely would have seen me. Also, I was the only person bar one or two, on that street at that time, so hard to miss.
When I arrived at the meeting, as I was taking my place she was already seated looking at me. She suddenly perked up from a few rows away and loudly asked me how I travelled there. I knew full well that they knew they had just passed me in the street. I didn't want to answer her question. I didn't want to give her the delight in saying how she had also walked and had gotten there ages ago! For some reason she had pissed me off a bit, so I smiled politely and asked her "why?"
She got pissy and loudly infront of everyone declared it was just a simple question!! So I told her I flew and sat down. Pathetic I know, but I have a habit of feeling intimidated or put on the spot and I never know the appropriate response.
How do I get through these moments??