Hi everyone.
I really don’t know if I’m being a total twit or not so some objectiveness might be helpful. Thank you in advance.
So essentially, I found out about 4 months ago that my sister in laws absolutely hate me. I overheard one of their conversations when they thought I was out (came through the back kitchen door having put the dog in the garden) and they were saying things like “don’t know who she think she is” “why is she even studying for her masters, she thinks she’s better than us” “can’t believe I introduced her to our brother, what I mistake, I’m so embarrassed” things like that. Anyway, I was obviously in shock because they had always been nice to me and I genuinely thought we had a good relationship. At the time I was heavily pregnant and really high risk and I just didn’t want a confrontation and left it.
In a nutshell, it all sort of blew up when my husband asked why I was being so distant, (I didn’t want visitors in the hospital when baby was born) the betrayal was too much for me and baby was in intensive care, I had to have multiple blood transfusions and an emergency c-section so I didn’t want fake people around me. All said and done we agreed and I said to my husband for the sake of our kids and him being stuck between his sisters and me , we would keep it civil.
This evening, I’ve just been cornered by one of his sisters while I’m trying to make dinner about how I’m such a liar and to get over myself, and how I’m trying to take her brother away from the family, (she’s heavily pregnant now as well) so I’ve just said I’m not having this conversation, I’m still healing, you’re hormonal and pregnant, I have a 4 month old and need to focus on the kids and her response is “you’ve had your whole life to heal and my situation is worse than yours”.
Now, I honestly don’t know what these women want from me? Even my husband started taking her side and was like “your family will be dead to me and my family will be dead to you, is that what you want? Just make up!”
I just carried on cooking dinner while she was screaming and shouting (I’ve been pregnant, I have some understanding) and my husband was asking her to calm down and to leave the kitchen and she just ended up starting to cry and saying she’s the bigger person for coming to speak to me and she has self respect too. Anyway ended with her storming out without saying bye but am I being unreasonable to
a) feel like my husband should have stood up for me more?
b) let bygones be bygones since we’re family?
Sorry for the long post! Thank you!