Ex being inappropriate around DC

[SashayAwayy]

Recently ex told our 13 year old that “Today is a very special day, X years ago today your sibling was conceived” Aaagh! Why would he say that?! It was on a video call and DC was mortified and so was I. Ex also talks about inappropriate stuff like pointed out a sex shop and mentioned picking up butt plugs/dildos to DC etc, more stuff that he says but I can’t remember the specifics. He says DC knows about that stuff now and it’s no big deal.

AIBU in thinking that this is really not ok?

Of course it’s not acceptable.

Jokingly mentioned picking up those items, he didn’t actually 😳

Ex is undiagnosed and I suspect he’s on the spectrum but still he should know better.

I found out when I was conceived via my father when I was younger than 13, didn’t do me much harm! However, the other stuff is extremely inappropriate

Well you conceived more than once with him so why do you seem surprised this is the way he is acting

Most surely you're not being unreasonable whatsoever 🕯️
God Bless You & Your Children
I felt sick just reading what he's been saying to your dear Child & even if your Child knows some elements of some subjects, it still doesn't make it acceptable to discuss them with your Children
My heart goes out to you & I completely comprehend 💚🙏💚

And yet you're asking us if you're unreasonable to think it's not ok? 😳

My ex's family used to proudly announce that my ex's sister was conceived at their holiday chalet - and talked about it all the time. I mean they went there every summer so anyone could work out the dates but to speak about it with such relish. Not appropriate at all.

Exposing dc to sexual stuff is actually child abuse...

Is it making your 13yo uncomfortable? If so, Ex should stop. He probably just thinks he’s having a laugh and a banter with him, as 13yo would with his mates, but he needs to remember he’s his parent.

If I’m honest, my 12yo Ds and I would joke about this sort of stuff, so it wouldn’t necessarily bother me, but the difference is, the jokes tend to be instigated by Ds

This !!!

This is a totally warped view.

a parent shouldn’t be having any type of sexual banter with a 13 year old and it’s not ok to think “that’s just what 13 years olds do with their friends”

This is the sort of “boys will be boys” attitude that excuses the poor behaviour of boys and men against women.

And that fact you think it’s ok for your 12 year old son to bring up topics like this is alarming.

Do better.