to hate the term 'football widow'?

[Yorkiegirl]

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YANBU

I don't know what to say

Unfortunately some colloquialisms can be cruel eg "he was going mental" "he/she is schizo"

of course these off the cuff comments are not meant to harm/offend but if it reflects your particular situation then ouch it will hurt

sorry you have been deprived of your partner- how cruel and devastating

YANBU

I can see why it's hard for you when you hear it in such a light-hearted context I used to get annoyed by the term "fell on deaf ears" or similar, because DS is deaf. It's become less painful with time. I know this will always stay with you, though. Sorry.

yabu

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shit, shit shit
So sorry
please forgive me Yorkiegirl i meant to type yanbu
apolgies

(god I feel like shit now what a typo to make)

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I have used this terminology without really thinking it through.

I should have been more aware as my mum is a widow.

Its a term I won't be using again.

thank you. as someone who saw the devastation of my sil loosing her dh suddenly I wouldn't never make a comment like that. sorry if it caused any hurt.

yorkie I really feel for you. I notice things like that too. Although I am not a widow. But I have been told my DH is very very ill. Its something I have never actually spoken about on MN and I dont really want to get into it now. I just want you to know that I can sympathise.

However the people who are saying it really dont mean any harm. Its just done without thought.

Last night I was having the WORST night at work ever and someone asked me how I was and I said really sarcastically "Fine in the sense that I'd like to kill myself right now"

I obviously did/do not want to kill myself! And I have been devastated when I was much younger by my first boyfriend committing suicide. So I know its nothing to joke about. But I said it anyway. Afterwards I felt bad for saying it but it just came out.

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and to you

I am so sorry for your loss. Really I am. You can always talk to me if you want to. I know you probably have loads of people to talk to but I thought I would tell you anyway in case you want one more.

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.....it would be easy to take offence to lots of words. I certainly know what you mean, but learned some time ago to spare myself the torment of concern over individual words in themselves, and think more of the intent driving them.

Most people who use such phrases have no concept of how the reality might feel. Good. I am glad they do not, and do not wish it upon them.

This sounds a "saintly' approach, but it is nothing of the sort, just self preservation!

yorkie I havent had an email and dont know if I will get one as I have never subscribed to the CAT thing... you can email me at senatorvass at gmail dot com though