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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think complacency is what really messes you up.

2 replies

FineThenStuck · 15/11/2025 18:10

Not failure. Not rejection. Complacency.

I’ve come to realise that coasting - staying in things that aren’t quite right, telling yourself “it’s fine” is what actually does the damage. You don’t even notice it at first. You’re not miserable, just stuck. Comfortable enough to stay. Not uncomfortable enough to leave.

But time goes. And one day you look around and wonder how you ended up somewhere you never meant to be - in a job that drains you, a relationship that doesn’t grow, a body or mindset that feels like a compromise.

AIBU to think complacency is actually one of the most dangerous things and people downplay how destructive it can be?

OP posts:
travailtotravel · 15/11/2025 18:14

Oh I'm completely with you. And its so dull, too. I'm in the needing to leave my relationship camp bit its easy and comfortable- just not right anymore.

Kickingasssince72 · 15/11/2025 18:44

It’s funny you should post this today, I was just pondering the same thing, as grief and the menopause has given me the kick up the arse I needed to retrain in a new job, sort out my fitness and leave a relationship that no longer fulfills me. Complacency has killed my marriage actually, so I think you are definitely right.

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