Christmas Cards

[sofiaparker]

Hi everyone,
Christmas is soon approaching and I want to give out cards at uni.

I have always loved doing cards. But uni is a big place. I'm friendly with everyone but there are certain people I speak to more.

How can I give out cards without offending anyone. It's still quite early in the year and not all friendship groups have formed yet. And I do not want to come off as rude or leaving people out. Because I feel I could genuinely forget about someone I've spoken to or hung out with before.

Am I unreasonable for wanting to write cards in the first place?

It’s a lovely thought. I love Christmas cards and send loads each year BUT you are at uni. You’ve likely got loads of friends and acquaintances. If you want, give them to the people in your hall/flat, a few close friends on your course and any lecturers you want to send to, but I wouldn’t overthink. Most young people don’t send them now so don’t be offended if people don’t reciprocate or seem baffled.

I'm 31 and love a Christmas card - my family and friends all send them too, so I don't know that age is the biggest factor here. In fact my birthday is a week before Christmas so we have the birthday and Christmas cards up in our house and with a big family comes a lot of cards and I think it looks lovely. If you want to send them op then go for it, you might not get them back off everyone but you also might make someone feel a bit less lonely if uni is their first time living away from home.

Omg thanks everyone for all the comments. I really appreciate your thoughts.

I have come to the conclusion that although cards giving is a dying tradition it still brings joy to people when they receive. I have family in the USA and in India, we talk regularly on Whatsapp and Facebook but I've always received appreciation for cards. It just feels more special to receive something physical. I'm not sending whole gifts and I never get to see them in years so at least a card is just nice.

I feel the point of a card is to receive it, feel the joy and love, then when you have experienced the moment, who even cares if it ends up in the bin! Even then, I have an aunt who has saved every single card I have sent since I was a child.

I have never expected a card or present in return, and over the years found that closest friends and relatives understand this. They've always at least called to say they've received it and appreciate it or given me a card or small present the next time we met - which is usually in years sometimes. But no one's ever felt the pressure that they absolutely have to reciprocate.

There might be a risk of unintentionally pressurizing friends that I've newly met and maybe don't know so well enough yet. But honestly - it is just a card - and I don't think most people would care to reciprocate - and I wouldn't want them to either! But the joy it would bring to them would be priceless especially when they are far from home, and many not going back for Christmas - and many are in a different country 7 seas away from home.

The topic of environment is a whole other one which I don't want to get into right now. But I do feel there are plenty other more impactful ways to care for the environment which we haven't been doing first - starbucks cups - new dress for every occasion - and the list goes on. However the value and experience that a little card brings to people is far greater I feel. And why not care for the environment at the same time?! Recyclable ♻️ charity cards may work!

Thank you all for your thoughtful suggestions. I respect all the different perspectives as everyone has different expectations and experiences. But it's really helped me decide what I should do, and I'll definitely give out a good few! 🥳 🎄 🎁

But I am a bit surprised the majority think IABU. Especially as card-giving has always been such a big tradition ever since I was a young child. Although less people distribute cards now, there are still many people who do - shops always have so many cards on sale during the festive season. I am not a Christian and identify with a different religion, but I've always loved giving out cards this time round. For me it's not only the festive season of celebration but also an opportunity to thank everyone for their being in my life and in some cases maybe even a way to make up for anything. By the end of it I always get that 'warm Christmas magic feeling'. Maybe I'm romanticizing Christmas. 😂

But I suppose with the cost of living, environment and everything else in mind it can get a bit much at current times.

I love receiving Christmas cards - just nice to know that someone is thinking enough of you to go to the trouble & expense of writing and sending a card.
You get a lot of pleasure from this tradition and there is no reason to stop. The majority of recipients will appreciate the gesture I’m sure and you may even bring card giving back into vogue.

You could just wait to see who gives you one @sofiaparker

I think giving and receiving Christmas cards is lovely.

Didn't take long though, for someone to say that as soon as they get a Christmas card from someone, they throw it straight into the recycling, and don't even bother putting it up/displaying it.

They act like it's an edgy and cool thing to do. All it is, is a supremely rude and obnoxious thing to do.

.

You will find this on here @sofiaparker But MN doesn't represent ordinary everyday people. You get people making a chicken feed a family of 4 - for 3 months, lots of women who are 7 stone, and a size 6, lots of posters on £100K or more a year, and posters who walk 25,000 steps a day. Also, many posters claim to have 2 or 3 university degrees, and have husbands who are on a quarter of a million pounds a year, with 'a long commute...'

Oh, and yes, you will get posters who say they HATE Christmas cards, they NEVER send them, and they throw away any Christmas card they get, without even opening it! In the real world, no-one does this!!!

Utter parallel universe.

In the real world, LOADS of people send Christmas cards, and like to receive them. And you sound really lovely. 😃

Baffled by Christmas cards!

So true- the highest earners in the land all post on Mumsnet!

I’m just glad Christmas cards are so close to being totally extinct.

I still send about 70. We still receive the same. It used to be over 100. It's a nice way of keeping in touch and I'm not big on social media.

However we are old, mid 60s, the children (27 and 31) don't bother with them and I wouldn't if DH and I were 30 years younger.

Would you send a digital card instead op? You can get some lovely messages intended for WhatsApp?

From your reply, I think you could be overestimating the level of joy people get from a bit of card. I reckon most people don't think much at all when getting one.

I think it's a lovely idea, and I wouldn't worry if you don't get one back. That's not why you should send them.
OP send them to whoever you want. It's a kind gesture.

It’s not unreasonable to send them if you want to. I don’t think many people at uni will send them but as long as you’re ok with possibly not getting any back, then go for it.

We only send a couple and they’re both to older relatives who really love cards. Those are the only cards we receive as well. Sending cards is definitely a dying tradition but maybe it’ll come back, most things seems to!

I don’t think most younger people will really get much joy from a card though so as a pp said, you are most likely overestimating the joy they’ll get from it.

Don’t know were you live, sounds like a desert island, but shops are full of them near me and people are buying them as usual!

Why is it not very nice, when the poster evidently hasn't done anything to suggest they want them? It's not very nice to be telling people what they should do with their decor!

Sticking a few cards on the window sill or fireplace is hardly dictating decoration! I’m merely saying use them instead of binning them( which nobody I know ever does!)

Everyone gets a little chocolate in their card too! And lottery tickets for the close ones 😁

Yeah, it is. You're saying people need to either use them as part of their Christmas decorations, whatever they actually want their house to look like, or their behaviour is deserving of criticism.

It's weird when who like sending cards can't just enjoy doing it and leave it at that, but feel the need to involve themselves in what others do. If you're that sure that nobody you know would ever bin a card, even less reason for you to tell other people what they ought to be doing with what they get.

I love sending and receiving Christmas cards, it's gives me joy and I put them on a ribbon around our picture rail as part of our decorations.
I do have DC in their late teens/early twenties who don't bother with cards ( but do send me one as they know I like them!) Having said that my arty daughter does make some and send them to us and friends.
I think giving them to people you are closest to is fine, and you can pop them in their post box if easier. However I do think that people may not reciprocate.
But don't let the bah humbugs on here put you off.

That's so cute! ... Someone will be along soon to say it's ridiculous because they're on a diet and against gambling I'm sure 😁

Then tell them that you that you don't cards and you won't be sending them. Better than cursing someone behind their back when they've tried to do a nice thing.