Please help me mums. 10 month old…

[whattodo1113]

baby doesn’t really sleep. I’ve tried everything.

lovely calm bedtime routine. No matter what I do when I put him to bed in his cot he’s up within an hour.
it’s draining

not because anything wrong, just wants to get up.
I’ve tried self soothe. Cry it out I just can’t do it. It sounds awful he gets so stressed and the neighbours must thing something awful is going on! It breaks me.

hot to a point let him co sleep because I’m getting zero sleep really. And he still gets up at 3am. Cries and cries and screams till I come downstairs with him then happy as Larry! I try everything before I come down but I’ve got 3 other kids he’s waking up.

I know I’m probs doing it all wrongs. Probs a crap mum. I’m just feeling very low with lack of sleep. It’s really effecting me now. Any tips or tricks? He’s a great eater etc he’s definitely going to bed on a full belly x.

My son was like that, turned out it was reflux when he was laying down acid was coming up and waking him up. Once we got him on medication it improved

Wow really!! Doctors medication was this? Thankyou. Feel like I’m doing everything wrong x

If it’s possibly reflux, try propping up one end of his cot, so he sleeps with his head higher than his feet. That will help alleviate the reflux while lying down.

I've had two non-sleepers. Both had allergies so I echo the check in on reflux or anything potentially waking your LO.

But also my potentially unhelpful advice is for me it only changed when I accepted that they may not sleep for years. My brother never slept (even as an adult he often wakes in the night) and we have a few different friends whose kids woke regularly until the were quite old, from 5 to 9 being the oldest. I approached everything differently, didn't think I could 'solve it'. Started to co-sleep, swapped with DH when I needed a break. Got lie-ins where I could. But I lost all the stress that I was doing the wrong thing and hadn't realised how much that was affecting me on top of the sleep deprivation.

Good luck, it's hard. Really hard

Sorry, that is really tough for you.

When is he sleeping in the daytime? Is it possible he needs to reduce afternoon nap so he's more tired at night?

Thankyou so much everyone x

Hi. Yea it’s so hard. The almost zero sleep is making me ill and emotional. Sometimes it’s worse than a new born. He has 2 naps in the day for maybe 30 mins. So not much at all. I take him out to play, walk, baby groups to burn his energy etc honestly I’ve dedicated my life to try everything :( x

I feel your pain OP, my DD2 is a terrible sleeper and she just turned 1. She has allergies, but I think in our case it’s just her personality. She is a very tactile child and likes being held and having physical contact. Her sister was a great sleeper, we have replicated the same things we did with her but to no avail.

We also co-sleep, though I’m really trying to get her to sleep as much as I can in her own bed! Just hoping that over time she gets better. I think at 10 months there is a lot going on developmentally, coupled with teething etc. I highly recommend you follow Lindsay hookway on instagram, she’s a doctor and sleep expert and she’s really helped me understand and accept that sleep isn’t linear and it’s not anything you are doing wrong!

Thanks so much I’ll definitely search her up & have a look! Yes, it’s awful to say the least. This sleep deprivation really feels like torture you feel there’s no end in sight it makes you groggy, emotional, weak & exhausted. My others were great sleeps too! It’s hard aswel as you’d expect nearly 1 and 1 years old to be sleeping well by now and the thick of post partum to be easing off. I still feel in the trenches! X

Sleep deprivation doesn’t feel like torture it IS torture.

you are not a crap mum

you are not failing and you aren’t doing anything wrong

all the above is the best options OP.

what helped with me was when I was up with the baby countless times a night I’d look out the window and think how many other mums are doing this at exactly the same time same time. Keep telling yourself that this too shall pass.

As PPs have said doctors for allergies, milk intolerance and reflux and for tilting the coat but check with doctor first

some random other things that you could try if you haven’t already…ocean sounds,white noise, pink noice etc. look on YouTube

lavender room plug in

sleeping bag if you don’t use one, if you do change to a swaddle

check temperature on the room

some babies don’t like to be on an all in one at bedtime so try a footless one

teething gel on teeth

nightlight if they don’t have one and turn off night light if they do

record your voice speaking calming or reading a story and play that

On Google type in ‘warm hand for babies sleep aid’- it’s literally a warm teddy thing that’s in the shape of a hand that you lay on your baby and they think it’s your hand. But check with doctor first. This is what one of mine had in intensive care

Yep doctors medication. It was called losec, it’s a acid inhibitor

Is he crawling? If so, completely wear him out physically as much as possible. Lots of fresh air, time outside (difficult when the weather's shit, I know), safe opportunities to crawl. Get an indoor slide if you have space for it. Can the other kids help by playing games with him? Chasing balloons and stuff.

Yes it’s so hard isn’t it, like having a newborn still!!

Wanted to add, I’m sure you aren’t a crap mum and doing a fab job. Keep going, I’m a believer that it can’t rain forever and it will get better xx

If it was reflux you would have had issues much much earlier. You can get him checked out. But I think the child should be sleep trained. I did it at 11 months and it took 3
nights. Life changing.
bad sleeping habits don’t just resolve themselves. They grow even worse as they get bigger. I also couldn’t do it with my older one and he has only started sleeping properly by himself at 7yo!!
my second we sleep trained and she sleeps properly and a full night from 11mo. She’s a happy toddler too.