Help for ten year old with insomnia

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Posting here for traffic!!

My ten year old daughter who is suffering with anxiety which is currently really impacting her ability to sleep and subsequently all the family.

Started back in August, following a holiday in which she experienced jet lag when we returned. This has almost settled, and then she had an injury.

Currently she is unable to settle to sleep at night. Can be up til gone midnight sobbing, and typical anxiety symptoms, stomach pain, nausea , occasional vomiting etc. None of this persists in the morning.

Is worried about going to bed from late afternoon, saying she won’t be able to sleep etc.

We have tried breathing exercises, counting, magnesium cream & drink, calm carry etc, nothing works.

Tried her in our bed, slept in her bed, no joy.

Got prescribed Melatonin (2mg) no impact yet, perhaps worse…

Has started missing school due to exhaustion.

On multiple waiting lists for therapy/counselling, no light here.

DH & I both work FT & are just about clinging on! Siblings started to get impacted too due to all the upset/stress etc

Wondering if anyone has any other suggestions?

please!

Try hypnotherapy. Many but not all hypnotherapists work with children. Anxiety and insomnia is something they really commonly see and treat. Most work online now so doesn’t even have to be anyone local.

There is one I’ve had highly recommended for children, her practice is called The Youth Fairy. I think she’s based near London but has a few therapists in other places who work with her. Otherwise, if you google the Association for Solution Focused Hypnotherapists they should have a list.

Not sure anything i can add will help as it seems you've tried everything. Just posting to offer hope really! My eldest went through similar - had a couple of night where she couldnt get to sleep until 2/3 am which then seemed to trigger a period of insomnia for months. She'd get really wound up and angry that she couldnt sleep... which obv didn't help. I used to lay with her (she has double bed) and give her a milky drink and a slice of toast. Then i would read quietly to her, she preferred that to an audio book. Would be for hours sometimes!! It eventually resolved, and if she had a relapse i think the routine of drink/toast/readinng meant she knew she would fall asleep so it took the pressure away. Youngest also had a bit of a sleep wobble at 10, not as severe but I'm convinced theres another sleep regression at 10! Good luck

Thank you!

Thank you

As others have said, I think there might also be a sleep regression at 10, something to do with hormones and brain development I'm guessing. My 10 year old struggles to settle, and then is a nightmare to get up in morning due to going to sleep late.

What we found helped was not actually trying to go to sleep, which sounds crazy. She reads /does puzzles etc semi reclined and gradually just drifts off. She has one of those 'sunset' clocks which goes down very gradually, so there isn't this sudden 'light off sleep now' moment which adds pressure.

My daughter suffera badly during period of anxiety. I do too. Fear of not getting to sleep is horrible.

for my daughter the thing that helped most was when I did reflexology style foot massages on her. I bought a book on how to do it.

My DD was a poor sleeper and could get upset by falling asleep - or not falling asleep.
I had 2 main tactics. One was to get her out of bed entirely. Bed is for sleeping not tossing and turning. I'd either take her downstairs and watch TV/do something else, or even get shoes on and go outside.
Let her cool down completely and be calm and maybe a bit sleepy and then back to bed. No being cross or annoyed.
If she was awake but calm and relaxed we would talk about how rest is almost as good as sleep - as long as she was relaxed and happy it was good.
But one thing that really helped was getting a weighted blanket...

Stop thinking about calling it sleep and call it resting. As long as you’re quiet and calm and in bed and cosy it’s all ok. No stimulation just rest. We can’t control when we fall asleep but we can control when we rest. Sleep usually just follows.

"Sleepy | Calming Body Comfort Lotion For Better Sleep | LUSH" https://www.lush.com/uk/en/p/sleepy-body-lotion?queryId=17837695c27430f9abd058a299cbe876

This absolutely worked for my son. He was getting desperate found something on Google so I ordered it. Worked the very first night. We were both amazed.

My DIL can't sleep unless she uses some lavender pillow spray so you could try that too.

I put in an earbud and listen to some old previously seen series on a streaming site. That stills my mind.

What do you do after she takes melatonin? We need to use it very specifically with my 7 yr old. He takes it an hour before he wants to sleep, absolutely not even a glance of a screen after taking. He does something chill like Lego or drawing, then has a long bath, gets I to pyjamas and we cuddle with him and read and he's asleep an hour after medication. If he even glances at a screen he turns I to the hulk and it's awful

Not saying daughter needs to go down this route, but I thought useful to share. My 14 year old had similar sleep / anxiety issues and I ended up getting him private psychiatry appointment as it was having such a big impact. Gp wouldn’t help. He prescribed low dose of Promethazine (anti histamine) 10mg which he took for a little while. Not long term. It worked and allowed him some sleep. We also had some cbt (to deal with other anxieties ) that helped alongside.

I'd also get her to hour al, so write or draw her worries to get them out of her head an onto the paper so she can let them go for the night. And maybe a dream catcher

Oh I feel for the poor thing, this was me as a child. It would take me hours and hours to sleep and I was always exhausted.

My mam got me some relaxation tapes and some story tapes (I vividly remember Harry Potter being one of them!) to listen to to help me get to sleep. One of them was a guided meditation that I actually found really, really helpful. Listened to it every night for a good while and I was always asleep before I got to the end of it. Worth a shot?

No advice just solidarity. My 11 year old doesn't sleep until about 2am most nights and then has to be up at 7:30 for school. Dr wouldn't prescribe melatonin or anything, even when ds begged him (he knows sleeping pills exist because dh takes them).

With my daughter I use rescue remedy kids sleep pastillies. She has to suck them as slowly as possible and try to focus just on the flavour. (She has other medications so needed something that wouldnt interfere). The other thing thats been life changing in terms of anxiety and getting to sleep is we give her magnesium with asgwangna gummies every day. She started them both aged 11. The worst night for getting her to bed and sleep are when shes played on the switch, it seems to hyper her brain up. I can hear her humming in bed, but shes atleast calm and happy where before we’d both end up with her distressed and me frustrated. Im a naturally a insomniac and if she didnt have other conditions that mean she needs her sleep I’d let her read till she falls asleep but that would be 4 in the morning….

https://www.boots.com/rescue-remedy-kids-night-pastilles-raspberry-50g-10360143?affwin&utm_source=Genie+Shopping-259955&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_campaign=Boots+-+CSS&utm_term=&utm_content=&sv1=affiliate&sv_campaign_id=259955&awc=2041_1763156527_8a6483dacf587aeed171bd4f5e510a64

Hi. Just wanted to post with my own experience. This was me on and off for most of my childhood from around her age. It subsided a little bit in early adulthood with occasional flare ups. Last year it really flared up again and I had several months of severe anxiety and insomnia. I was back and forth to the GP who had little to offer. Like you, I tried every possible solution. Anyway, I eventually paid privately to see a psychiatrist who diagnosed Ocd (sleep / anxiety around sleep became one of my obsessions) and prescribed Sertraline (lowest dose) which has completely changed my life. I have also had some great psychotherapy.

If I could go back and speak to my mum, I’d say this. I know she did her very best but I really wish she’d seen the anxiety for what it was: crippling, serious and something I became very ashamed off as I was so aware of how it impacted my parents and siblings. I wish I’d had psychiatric input early on and also started medication and therapy.

Wishing you all the best. You sound like a lovely, caring mum. Sending hugs to you and your little one.

I have insomnia and have had from similar age. As I child I always would read into the small hours.

Mum used to say there was no pressure to go to sleep. As long as I was in bed reading then im relaxed and that's ok. She always made me keep same routine, same bedtime, woke me at the same time. Sometimes I needed a power nap when I came in from school. She would also get me puzzle books to do or mind games. She suffered herself with insomnia and she said key was not to get upset, just go with your body's flow.

Now as adult Iv found exercise is vital part of my good sleep hygiene. I get best quality sleep if I exercise daily.

Iv always read - love kobo ereader as its back lit and cam borrow library books in libby app.

Love an audiobook of im too tored to read but cant sleep. Sleep stories can be quite nice too

I found wearing a sleep mask with headphones works the best for me as im a super light sleeper too

Have been through this with DS8. Things that helped:

reframing sleep, like above posters, and focusing on rest

a lava lamp as a nightlight

letting him sleep in my bed / sleeping in his bed - I can sleep on a sixpence, and I felt like him when being with me worked in a similar way to how it did when he was a baby (regulated heart rate/breathing, sleep hormones etc) / you just have to have a plan for withdrawing

Thanks will try focus a bit on the rest versus sleep.
Must look up the 10 year old sleep regression. Thank you

Thanks. I do suffer myself, so I can sympathise, but I’m also exhausted, as even when she isn’t not up for a period, I am on edge waiting etc & then I don’t sleep either.
similar with my eldest as a newborn, I couldn’t sleep between feeds at night as I just couldn’t switch off.

So I do get it, but am shattered too!

@idril Will look into reflexology. Am currently doing a massage of sorts on her feet with the magnesium cream

Yes no screen time after it. Either reading and we let her choose new colour stuff which she likes to do during that time too.

On 4 separate waiting lists for therapy, as I recognise that this current situation aside, she will need support with coping mechanisms for when she is older. The current situation has just highlighted traits that have been there on a much lower level I feel

She hates the pastilles. Current melatonin we have are little tablets which are also a battle. Currently only taking these in a spoon of calpol… which I know isn’t sustainable or perfect, but picking my battles for now

How much exercise does she get? Does she nap during the day?