AIBU to book antenatal appointments during work hours?

[Floundering66]

Early days with my second pregnancy. After my first I went back four days a week and now have Fridays off to look after my little boy.
I haven't told work yet and won’t until the new year, but due to complications I will need extra appointments and scans this time round. I know my manager will expect me to book as many as possible on Fridays when I’m already off but I would rather not be taking my two year old to all these appointments. Would I be unreasonable to book them during work hours? I tried to go to the dentist on my lunch break a few months ago and my manager gave me a long lecture about not attending appointments on work days so a bit anxious about all the appointments I will have coming up. I know I’m legally entitled to paid time off for these appointments but is it bad form?

It’s absolutely fine to go during work. Your manager doesn’t have a leg to stand on because it’s actually legally protected that you can have paid time off work to go to antenatal appointment.

it’s very clear on the government website www.gov.uk/working-when-pregnant-your-rights

You are well within your rights but it's a bit of a shitty thing to do. If you are allocated a slot then fine but most people try to book, if there is an option, the one with least impact on work.

I'm pretty sure the liklihood of you being able to book all your antenatal appointments and scans - which all need to happen within a specific time frame - on a Friday are about 0.0001%

It doesn't work like that.

Dentist maybe (as you do have a bit more flex when you have a private dentist) but NHS appointments you don't get to pick and choose.

Will you need many appointments before you disclose your pregnancy at work?

I think I could request to have all appointments on a Friday, I’ve managed to get my first scan changed to a Friday and my mum has booked the day off to look after my little boy. Luckily the first additional scan I need falls during the Christmas break so won’t need to book that off. Going on a Friday wouldn’t actually bother me, it’s more having to take a two year old with me that hates car journeys and can’t sit still 😂

Well - my area only do antenatal appointments on Thursdays, so… you can’t guarantee they’ll all be on Fridays anyway.

It is absolutely not a shitty thing to do. Many appointments don't allow for other children to come and trying to find short-term care/ ad-hoc care for a child is ridiculous. Book them during work time. Also, you can't concentrate if you did manage to take the child with you.

This is a good point, at least at my scans it said on the letter no children allowed

If it's NHS you pretty much won't get a choice of when your appointment is. You will be sent a letter telling you when it is. You either take the appointment or face the hassle and hoop jumping to get another appointment (which may not be when you ideally need it) and you may not get the option of your day of choice anyway as it will depend on what days certain clinics are running

I actually think you are slightly naive about how much choice you have here and as such your work will just have to suck it up.

You don't have much contact with the NHS do you?

Good luck specifying a day. I recently asked if I could have my 12 week scan on any day but Tuesday (no childcare). The midwife added it to the notes when she sent through for booking. Guess what, the hospital gave me a Tuesday. Manager is unreasonable.

Of course it's fine to go on your working days. People who work full time will so there is no reason why you shouldn't. Don't feel guilty about it.
However I doubt you will get much choice about when you can go anyway

Services differ across the country I personally would ask it works e.g. in my NHS Fridays are low on staff, their books may already be full... I was lucky that I knew my local midwife clinic ran on a set day for my area and I asked for the first or late afternoon one so I could put it to my boss I was being mindful, but personally I now think we are a a stage with NHS that you take what you are given and work comes second. 2 cancelled or missed appts and lots of services sign you off

Haha I’m only going by my last pregnancy, I was able to choose the time slots so I would have 4pm appointments and go at the end of my workout day. So far I have been able to change the scan from Wednesday to a Friday but haven’t tried with other appointments. I’d be quite happy if they didn’t let me change it, takes the guilt away 😅

I wouldn’t try and just tell your manager than appointment is on X Monday. Really why should you? If you were full time they would all be in working hours, logically if you’re 4 days a week working then your employer should expect 80% of them to be in working hours, that’s just common sense

Even if you have as much M-F flex as possible for appointments, you work for them 4 days a week, so it's not at all unreasonable to only book every 5th appointment for a Friday.

I think it’s a shitty thing to deliberately do it but if it happens it happens. If you book them during work hours is there a time when it would be less disruptive?

Are you planning to go back to work after your next baby? If so, then you might be better trying to maintain as good as relationship with your employer as possible. If they think you’ve been taking the piss then might they be less likely to be flexible with you when you need them to be.

I'd definitely being taking them during work

Statistically one in every 5 should be on a Friday.

Yes getting an early morning appointment would probably be less inconvenient than heading out in the middle of the day.
I am planning to go back after maternity leave but I have been disappointed with my mangers treatment of me since returning from my first leave (e.g he got really shitty with me when I had to leave early to take my little boy to A&E and called me an over cautious first time mum when I was obviously upset). I don’t think this second pregnancy will go down well as it is, so I’m torn between going out of my way not to piss them off anymore and thinking sod it, they hate me anyway! 😫

Just do it. Manager has no leg to stand on.

I ended up needing 3 hours off every 4 weeks to go for growth scans. My manager didn’t like it and once asked me to work extra hours, to which I said no (as it was illegal). It took that long as there was no parking at the hospital at that time of day so i had to get the bus.

Antenatal appointments have special status in law I think, it’s not the same as the dentist.

Book your appointments when it suits you, not your work. Don't go agonising over what they might think or the impact on them. They don't seem to be very mindful of you and your life so treat them the same in return (I'm aware this may be an unpopular opinion but I don't care) You have every right legally to take however long you need for antenatal appointments, whenever that may be. When I was pregnant with my twins, a manager complained about the length of time some of my appointments took particularly the anatomy scan because SHE was pregnant too and HER scans/appointments never took that long. When I mentioned this in passing to my consultant the next time I saw him, he said he decides how long my appointments take and she could jog on and asked if I needed him to write a letter explaining how it works and the law surrounding antenatal appointments 😂

You can have paid time off for appointments- but it comes off your annual leave.
It's not reasonable to expect to be in appointments and be paid and have your full annual leave entitlement- you already have Fridays off, so your employer has made reasonable adjustments. I think you would be very must pushing your luck, after all pregnancy is a choice not an illness.

It absolutely does not come from your annual leave, by law you are entitled to additional paid time off for antenatal appointments. Book them all at a time to suit you OP, especially if your manager hasn't been kind since your return. Most antenatal appointments, especially scans don't allow you to bring children anyway.

It’s a 2 way street of course can just do what you want and they have no choice
but if you can make it less disruptive like early or last appointment why wouldn’t

It's no wonder employers are in no rush to employ or promote women of child bearing age then- I always thought being held back because of it was unfair- but I'm beginning to see it from the other side, there is no benefit to a business your having another baby, to the state possibly, but I think the amount of support you can expect has to have limits.