3 year old not following instructions at pre-school

[TheKookySquid]

Hello,

My nearly 3 year old has moved up to a pre-school class at nursery. She's always got on well at nursery, but at pre-school she is not following instructions well, she is saying 'no' rather than doing as asked. This is quite out of character - she is usually keen to please/follow rules. She will (often) do what is asked of her at home, although I often have to make it fun or help her get started. Has anyone else experienced this or got any suggestions of what might help?

Thank you in advance

She's just testing boundaries in a new setting. Good for her! Pre-school will manage it because it's what they do all the time. I don't see this as your problem to solve.

It might help to expect her to do what she's asked at home without being started off/it made fun. At nursery they will expect everyone to do as they're told without this handholding. But as PP says, this is nursery's issue to deal with and they will.

I agree they will deal with it. I work in pre school, it's not unusual behaviour. It's also very normal to be different at home. My very experienced colleague and mentor always tells parents that this is an important milestone to be celebrated. Yes the behaviour itself isn't good but that's manageable. However the development behind the behaviour is really important. A child is learning to be assertive, knowing their own mind, reading and adapting to different social settings (I might get away with this here. I don't at home but I'll try it anyway...) and pushing and testing boundaries. This is actually really good news. A passive child gives much more cause for worry.

I have a lot of colleagues like this. They earn more than me so she's onto a good thing.

Isn’t that kind of what pre-school is for? To help children learn what behaviour is expected at school and surely the staff are the experts?

She is 3… she isn’t meant to follow instructions.

Just ignore it it should pass. Cant believe any EY professional has actually flagged this up to you.

Could be she is getting attention for responses too. Play the whole thing down.
Anyway what instructions do there need to be in self initiated quality play?

Thank you very much everyone for your repsonses...you made an overthinking first time mum feel much better! 🤗

I honestly wouldn’t worry about this type of thing at 3. I have three children, all determined and stubborn at that age and only one is a pain in the bum right now!

As others have said. Pretty standard. Not much you can do other than talk about the fact that sometimes instructions are there to keep you safe and she should try to follow them. I'm assuming you know about this because they've spoken to you about it. Just back up nursery so she knows you are working with them and agree that she needs to do what's asked.

Instructions are needed all the time - this doesn't mean they're not having plenty of self initiated play. Sitting down to eat or coming to the door to go home and other things like that will happen throughout the day. If children are just doing what they want, when they want, it would get pretty unsafe.

Really? Sur8ely self control is the ultimate aim not constant do as y ou are told. And there are other formats for giving information other than 'institutions particularly in Early Years.