'I didn't say that'

[whyaretheylikethis]

Don't you just hate it when you KNOW someone said something to you, you remember it clearly, you know hand on heart they said it. Would put my life savings on it type of know...

Then they hit you with 'I didn't say that' 'you misheard' 'you've made that up' 😡

No point to this thread btw. Just needed to get that off my chest.

Really REALLY aggravates me!

Why do you assume you are right and they are wrong, I cant say my memories are 100% accurate so I dont assume others are all the time either

But if they know they did say it and they're lying deliberately, it's gaslighting. Like any other form of telling someone else that something didn't happen when they know it did, and trying to train them into not believing their own eyes, ears and experiences.

But how do you know from one incidence of someone saying ‘I know they said x’ that the other person also does know that? Moreover, even if the person is lying, how do you know whether they’re actively trying to make the other person question their thinking, or whether they’re just embarrassed about whatever it was they’ve said and hoping to dismiss it and move on? There’s not enough information in the OP’s post for anyone to know whether this is part of a larger problem or just an infuriating example of someone being stubborn.

Shouting ‘gaslighting’ for every little thing trivialises the kind of sustained manipulation that the term actually describes. A bit like when people say they’re ‘depressed’ because their holiday plans didn’t work out or ‘have OCD’ when they mean ‘are really tidy’. Even the word ‘trauma’ is now massively overused.

Overusing and misusing terms associated with abuse and mental illness can be hugely damaging to the people whose experiences are trivialised. It’s also worrying how many people now want to see behavioural problems and mental health issues everywhere they look. The number of replies so far on this thread that have said ‘it’s gaslighting’ when there’s nowhere near enough evidence to support it is both alarming and pathetic.

Yes I have a relative who does this even when what was said was via WhatsApp. Even when I forward the relevant message showing what was said, I get told I’m overreacting. Some people just can’t stand their own narrative of themselves to be questioned.

My DP does this it really winds me up

I gaslight them right back if I suspect they know exactly what they or I said. 'are you OK? These confabulations are getting more frequent and I'm worried it's a sign of dementia...'

Yes, which is why I document everything and keep everything.

Sneaky Pete said ' liars don't admit they lied! What, you think they will go ' yeah, busted?' No, they will just lie more. Bigger lies. More lies. You can have evidence and they will still lie'

Otherwise, I think its normal to forget shit stuff and concentrate on the good.

My ex literally doesn't show up on "his" days to see his children and tells everyone he has no idea why he "cant" see his children

Hint its because of HIS CHOICE not to show up