Figures and dates rounded for simplicity!
I met DP in 2020, he had three children who are with us part-time, and I earned more. In 2022 we bought a house as tenants in common for 400k and I paid all of the 75k deposit (plus fees/costs of about 20k). We agreed a declaration of trust to say, if the house is sold, I get my 75k deposit back plus 90% of additional equity as I was to pay 90% of the mortgage payment. Property prices were rising so this felt like a decent investment for me; better than wasting money on rent.
Fast-forward to now. We have a baby in nursery, I’ve chosen to work part-time and the property value hasn’t risen at all. We now have equity of c. 100k, so if we sold today, I’d get around 97.5k and he’d get 2.5k. He’s had an inheritance of 75k which he wants to spend on an attic conversion to add a bedroom (and I agree) and we both want him to pay 50% of the mortgage, as I’m struggling to on my part-time salary.
How would you update the declaration of trust?
a) first 97.5k to me, next 2.5k to him, 50/50 of anything on top
b) first 97.5k to me, next 77.5k to him, 50/50 of anything on top
c) as we’ll both have put in 75k deposits, first 22.5k to me, next 2.5k to him, split anything else
d) something else
Complicating factors: the 75k of work won’t add 75k of value (probably half of that) but we don’t want to move. He is from a wealthy family and likely to get lots more inheritances over the next few decades. I am not and won’t. We have been going through a rough patch and doing counselling, but hope having more space would help. If we split, I’d be the primary carer of our baby and he wouldn’t pay much maintenance as he already has the three children. For these reasons, I want to protect my own finances.
I have overthought this and can’t make sense of it anymore.