Struggling with DP when we have no plans

[Rachel899]

DP is always a bit down if we have more than a day without anything planned. This week for example, we’ve got a week off work and have cancelled plans to have a few nights away as DC has been ill (nothing serious, we just thought it better not to have nights away from home). We’ve done a few things already but nothing lined up for tomorrow yet.

He openly says he struggles to have empty days and likes having things to look forward to. I on the other hand would gladly have a day pottering around etc.

He has always been like this, can be tetchy led in bed on a Saturday morning if we’ve got nothing on.

Do you think this is normal? Does anyone else get a similar feeling.

I’m sure he’s secretly looking forward to returning to work on Monday lol.

This is me! I don’t think it’s ADHD. I think it’s ensuring you make the most of your weekend. Seizing the day 😊

Is he also someone who struggles to be alone? Even though your DH would drive me bonkers, it takes all types and its great we're all different, some people just love being all GO and actually seem to get energy from it, but if it stems from fear of being alone/missing out socially i dont think its healthy...

These husbands need pairing up with the wives who wish they had more proactive men 😆

Can he not go and do something by himself whilst you potter? Is he completely reliant on you for company? Can he go for a swim, take a newspaper to a coffee shop, get an early start on his Christmas shopping?

but surely it depends?

If you agree that you leave at 11:30, you leave at 11:30.
You can go to the gym first, have a shower, get stuff done. In itself, 11:30 is fine.

If you agree to leave at 9, I would have strangled you long before 11:30 if we hadn't left by 09:05 😂

but is it really fair to want someone there but do nothing? Spend time together, but doing .. what?

Some people take it too far

One poster was also complaining that her husband wasn't engaged enough when watching a movie, but was on his phone at the same time. The poor guy was staying there, sat on the sofa as requested, not interrupting but still in trouble because he wasn't fixated on the screen 😂

My husband is like you, I find it so frustrating. A day spent lazing about feels like a day wasted. Even waiting about for him to get out of bed makes me twitchy after a while.

True. But it depends on where you are going. No poi t getting somewhere and not having time to see it properly or do stuff because someone can't get their arse into gear to leave the house before 11 30. And it doesn't seem as though the DH agrees to leaving that that else he wouldn't be antsy about it

agreed. 11:30 would stress me out too.

I'm like you. I like to faff and potter and watch TV in the evening, I leave about 11 to go anywhere aswell. Ex DP was like yours.. partly why he's an ex. Too much for me. I could never ever lie in or have a lazy day with him bouncing around like Tigger from morning until night.

I sort of hav esympathy if he wants to get going and you're faffing around side eyes DH but I also think it's perfectly okay for you NOT to have specific plans and want to enjoy a day pottering at home. If that's not his thing, fine, but then he must make his own plan and get on with it.