To have been drinking a bottle of wine most nights

[Steams]

Since my recent split a few months ago I have found myself drinking too much. He moved on really quickly and I felt so unworthy as we were together for almost 20 years. I know this needs to stop as I have never really been a big drinker and I think I have relied on it too much. I drink a bottle wine probably every other night, please don’t flame me as I have come to the realisation that this cannot carry on. I feel sluggish in the mornings etc and I do think I am coming out of the other side now so I need to address it

Well done for recognising it's too much, and isn't helping you. The alcohol support section has lots of useful threads.

I wouldn’t be hard on
yourself as you have been using it as a crutch during a bad time. But that’s all it is a crutch. It can’t stay, it was just there to “help”! What non alcohlic drinks do you like? Replace alcohol with another treat(doesn’t have to be food or drink) then when you are feeling even better, which you will, phase that out too.

Well, you already know that this is not good for you, so I won't mention that. But I do get why you are using it as a crutch.

I lost my Dad suddenly early this year after having also recently lost my Mum. We were in the process of selling up and moving so I had our house sale going on, and then everything to deal with my Dads death and also selling the family home. All this while also dealing with the perimenopause and I was highly stressed for a while. As a result, and as a way to cope and block out the pain/stress, I started cracking open a bottle of wine each night. I won't lie, it helped. It helped me care a little less about stuff, feel temporarily a little better and get some sleep. Like you I came to a crunch point where I realised that what I was doing was not healthy and not a good way of trying to cope with everything. The good thing is that once I made the decision to stop then I could and I now only drink at weekends again, and even then its not on the scale as I was drinking during the week.

You are only human. Sometimes we need something to help us cope with life's crap, whether that be alcohol or comfort eating. We all just want to try and get through those shit times.

The good thing is you have recognised this and want to stop before it becomes a problem and this is the main thing.

So no, YANBU for using it as a short term crutch. Like you say, address this now and put a stop to it. You can do it!

I think almost ever alcoholic I know got to a stage similar to you....i.e. the I know I need to stop stage.

In my experience, when you are at that stage, you can turn it around, but if you don't then with 6 months or so, you'll be passed the point of rescue. It happens so fast.

Try organising things to do in the evening to stop yourself sitting in drinking.
Switch to non alcoholic wine or mineral.

I don't mean to sound alarmist but a heavy drinker and an alcoholic are only months apart.

Yes. I am worried it will get to that point where I cannot stop so I have to do something now. It has served its purpose but I am a lot stronger now