Am i unfair?

[PJLx]

I really wanted to have another child. DH doesn't want anymore children. We have one child who is 3. DD. It isnt what i want but i love DH. I have told DH that i would like to get a dog if we cannot have another child as i think its a fair compromise. He intially agreed but has since backtracked. I had an abortion against my wishes this year because he didnt want another baby. He always gets to decide what happens and i feel like it doesnt matter what i want ever. Am i being unfair and selfish?

No! Is he open for discussion or does he rule it out blankly? Did you discuss these things before you got married? Why is he back tracking? I don’t think you’re being unfair. I’d expect him to at least discuss it? Does he always have the final say?

Wow, red flags triggering all over here, OP.
A woman should never have had an abortion against her wishes!
To have a child requires the approval of both of you, and if you have agreed to no to have more children, measures should be implemented to avoid pregnancy from occurring, but never resort to an abortion as prophylactic solution!

Having a baby (or a dog) is one of those "Needs 2 Yes" sort of decisions. It's so hugely life changing and such a long term commitment that no one should be pushed into it if they don't want. However if DH is the NO vote then in my opinion it is on him to sort the contraception. You should also not be pushed into abortion (but should accept that if you carry his child to term when he is voting NO then that may end your relationship). In this case I think you need to consider whether you want to stay in this relationship long term and only have one child and no dog or if you prefer to leave and look for another partner (or go it alone) with anothe pregnancy / puppy.

Has he given his reasons for not wanting another child?
This is always difficult because you are not 'wrong' for wanting another child but he's also not 'wrong' for not wanting another child.

But it sounds from your post this relationship is controlled by him. That isn't fair and I'd be worried about that.

You need to discuss a bit more.
But. In general i am very much of the opinion that pets and children require two enthusiastic "yes" answers from the adults in the house.

Having said that. If you think he steamrollers you into everything, perhaps your relationship needs work? and bringing a dog or baby into a relationship like that might not be the best thing. Sorry, not what you want to hear, but you have to deal with the hand you are dealt, not the hand you want.

ETA: also agree that nobody should be pushed into a termination against their will. If DH wants to continue to have sex, he needs to organise contraception. How would you feel if he took the nuclear option of a vasectomy? Is a 2nd child a dealbreaker for you?