Why am I being made to feel awkward?

[Rainershine]

NC for this.

Bit of background- a few years ago, a colleague became really flirty, wanted to meet up with me and asked me out. He seemed really shy and described himself as socially awkward, but eventually sent me a dick pic. It came out at the same time that he had a long term girlfriend, he immediately got another job and we never spoke again, not seen him for over 3 years.

Now twice in the past week, I've had the same weird encounter with him. I've got on to a train platform, in two different stations, then seen he's stood behind me on the platform, this was at two different stations. Particularly today, the look on his face seemed to suggest hed seen me and was desperately trying to avoid me. Both times, he's then not got on the train- when the next one would be taking the same route, and wouldn't be along for a while.

Maybe I'm being unreasonable but I feel quite annoyed- why am I being made to feel awkward here? What the hell did I do wrong? By all means ignore me if you want but is there any need to be so performative with it? Why are men such cowards?

If I’d sent a colleague a photo of my genitals, I don’t think my horror at encountering them unexpectedly, twice, in a railway station woukd be ‘performative’ but completely genuine.

I’d be worried about stalking. Very weird coincidence!

This

Hopefully he's realised how awful hos behaviour is and is mortified

Stalking? Out of a job? Nothing better to do?

No idea, but don’t assume it’s benign.

Yes maybe you're right, maybe it's not about me making me feel embarrassed, more about him being embarrassed.

It surely can't be stalking, he never attempted to contact me after it came out. The encounters happened at seperate stations but both for trains heading back to our respective stops.

Maybe I should try to take it less personally and remind myself that's why I don't send nude photos of myself to colleagues.

You’re not being ‘made’ to feel awkward, you just do feel awkward. Not that you should. Shrug it off,
you weren’t in the wrong.

That depends on which station we're talking about really. If it's out in the sticks then yes, that's perhaps odd, but Tottenham Court Rd and Oxford Circus, for example, no so strange.

I dint easily picture the platform scenes: how do you know he is behind you/ how are you clocking the look on his face? Do you see him approaching, and then he hides behind you?
Just wondering if he’s expecting you to start a conversation, then retreats deflated.

But don't give him any power over you, in terms of discomfort. (Maybe even meet his eyes next time, and do your best Lee Van Cleef impersonation.)

Christ, don’t you sometimes wish half the blokes you ever encounter could be sent to a rock out in the Atlantic, for good.
‘Dick pics as a factor in the resurgence of religious vocations in young women’ must be a frequent undergraduate thesis these days.

That's not performative and I don't think he is trying to make you feel any way. He probably feels uncomfortable himslef so is trying to avoid the continuation of feeling awkward throughout the train journey and at the next station.

Tbf they were two big city Northern stations, about 90 minutes apart.

The first time I must have walked past him as he was stood quiet close to the bottom of the stairs that take you to the platform. I went to the front, and when I turned to look at the screen, I saw him in my peripheral.
Today, I was walking along the platform to a less busy spot, I must have been stood there about 5 minutes and when I turned to check the screen, he was right at the back starring straight ahead with a horrified expression.

I'll try not to give him so much power, and I'd love to read that thesis!

Jeez, please don’t stand close to the edge OP……they walk among us.

I always do, I think because I'm small and on busy platforms I get pushed around. Maybe I shouldn't though.

Seems a bit weird and yes I agree stand well back from the platforme edge!!