Are you your partner's go to person in every area of life?

[7o7tygy]

Dh and I have been married for over 20 years and our relationship has drifted over the course of it. FIL has potentially just been diagnosed with dementia (like his mum has been a few years ago). Sister in law has been caring for his mum until her death. Obviously this diagnosis is terrible news - his father is already in a home. However, I realised that I just dont know what I should say or do. I have realised that we have compartmentalised our life. DH usually talks to his sister about his parents' care, his colleagues about work and we usually talk about kids and household. It's same for me. We both work and have busy lives. Is that unusual that we are only each other's go to person when it comes to certain things but not everything?

I am my partner's go to about everything, yes, but we've not been together as long as you so I can't say whether that might change in the future.

Obviously you already know your relationship has drifted. Would you say maybe that you're living more as housemates that husband and wife? It happens a lot, and it's easy to get into that situation.

The only thing I can say is to try and keep the communication open. Ask about his dad, ask how he feels about it, ask how you can help.

Of course, this is assuming it's something you both want to fix, and he wants to put in the effort, too. It can't be a one way thing.

I am definitely my partner’s go to person for absolutely everything and I do worry what will happen if he is left on his own. TBH he is not always my go to person. I quite often talk things over with DD first and I am well aware what you might construe about the state of our relationship.

Myself and DH are each others go to about everything. My BFF is my go too about DH though 🤣

I worry that it's been so long that we lived like that, that we are used to it.