Do I tell social services?

[bosslady89]

Hi ,
bit of a long one sorry. I really need some advice.
my friend was taken into care as a child because her mum was on drugs and she wasn’t being fed etc so the police came and took her and her brother.
fast forward 20+yrs , my friends mum has now got a 10yr old daughter. We’ve recently found out she’s back on drugs again. (Crack) not just any drug probably the worst there is.
I don’t want it coming out that it was me but I am concerned that my friends sister is at risk. (She has food & clothes etc) but the mum is smoking crack. And she’s very good at ‘acting normal’.

Would you call social? Or just mind your own 🤷‍♀️

I'd report to the social services duty desk. Just say you don't want your name recorded. Don't leave a dc in this position. It can be easily checked out.

Where children are concerned always call if any doubt. We should never mind our own business when we have concerns about a child x

Of course. Why on earth are you even considering NOT doing this?

what does your friend want to do?

Definitely report. You sound like you are remote enough (daughters friend) to not be recognisable to the mum. They will tell her someone has reported XXX so just ensure there’s nothing that only you would know so she can’t work out it was you. Social usually hear from family, neighbours and professionals. So she wouldn’t necessarily point the figure.

I would call social services! I have contacted social services myself because my DH was drinking and we have kids. They HELPED alot, all my interactions were with kind, genuine people. Not the monsters I was warned that they are.

If you are really concerned about it getting back to you, call NSPCC and they will be able to instigate some action.

You would never forgive yourself if something happened, I know because you care enough to consider reporting her.

Yes you should inform someone who can fill in the necessary paperwork.

Thank you. I think I’m gonna have to x

Thanks all. Defo gonna report it in the morning. X

Telling the friend and asking their advice might put OP in a tricky situation if friend asks her not to report etc. I would report and then think separately if you want to give friends a heads up about your worries. But I am guessing friend would have noticed too?

Is your friend not concerned about her sister?

What is the care of the child like?

I would report it yes, there'll be an assessment to determine if the child is safe and if her needs can be met.

@bosslady89 absolutely 100% call Social Services. The child's needs and welfare comes above and beyond anything else, regardless if it puts you in an awkward position.

Please call them OP.

The child may look well presented, but their home life will be chaotic and you don’t know what they’re experiencing behind closed doors.

Please call

As a member of the public, you can ask for your report to be anonymous, they will still want to know your details (eg in case they needed to call you back to check anything) but you can ask for your name not to be shared with the parent. That said you do need to think about the fact that if you share specific details there's a chance your friend could guess, but hopefully you can share things in a way it's less obvious (it's more tricky if say you're a neighbour hearing things through the walls because then its much more likely the friend would know it's you)

Please do the right thing for the kids but also for mum, if she gets support early enough there could be a chance she could turn things around.

You could try NSPCC now too

Definitely report - my partner and his siblings grew up exposed to drugs (and eventually not only exposed but also provided by their own mother) and the toll it has taken on their lives is endless.

No child should have to grow up like that.